tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50627635098737106422024-02-19T01:11:08.827-08:00Here I am...Emilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00842248700521917031noreply@blogger.comBlogger115125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5062763509873710642.post-91300654505947167322014-03-14T00:38:00.001-07:002014-03-14T00:38:50.179-07:00Salt AirDriving down PCH,<div>Breathing in the salt air,</div><div>My windows down and music up,</div><div>Deminishing my worries and cares</div><div><br></div><div>My mind goes back to college,</div><div>Nearly ten years ago,</div><div>I think of all that has happen since,</div><div>As I drive down the same road.</div><div><br></div><div>Like the highway,</div><div>There were hills and dips,</div><div>Good and bad times,</div><div>And I learned so much from it</div><div><br></div><div>On my drive I reach,</div><div>An elongated straight path,</div><div>I have not driven this far before,</div><div>I paused then step on the gas</div><div><br></div><div>Bring on the new adventure,</div><div>Be it mountain or valley,</div><div>This life long drive is so cherished,</div><div>It is the life of yours truly </div><div><br></div>Emilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00842248700521917031noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5062763509873710642.post-29769923775707710272014-02-17T08:23:00.001-08:002014-02-17T08:23:03.845-08:00Presidents Day<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">I was talking with a co-worker (who lives in a different country) last week and explained that I would be off work for our Presidents Day holiday. She asked about it and what we did to celebrate (if there was a parade, if we eat a special meal) and I said "its really just a day off to celebrate many former President's Birthdays, as many were born in February." </p>
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<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">I guess it sometimes takes someone outside a situation to make you dwell in things... and it just so happens I finished a great book about some Presidents who dealt with mental illness, but I realized I don't give much thought on this holiday to the leaders who made this country what it is today. </p>
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<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">Though there were some horrible things that happened under some of their leadership, there were also some amazing things that happened too. America has been far from a perfect country, but there are a few principles that make me proud to be an American: that all should have access to freedom and liberty namely. </p>
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<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">So I thank the men (and future women) who have & will continue to make this possible. Though we are far from perfect, I am so grateful to be an American and for those who have upheld these values over the years. </p>Emilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00842248700521917031noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5062763509873710642.post-17442282712150798192014-01-14T22:30:00.001-08:002014-01-14T22:30:48.375-08:00The Few Who Ruin The Blue<p style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">The few who ruin the Blue,</span></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Seem more prevalent lately, </span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Getting away with horrific crimes, </span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Injustice shown blatantly. </span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br></span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">How on earth can it be?</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">In the year 2014,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">A raped teen exhiled from her town,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">A homeless man dying of a ruptured spleen? </span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br></span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">All at the hands,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Of those sworn to protect and serve,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">And when their day in court comes,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">They escape the punishment they deserve. </span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br></span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">I know they represent,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">A small fraction of the Force,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">But it's hard to swallow, </span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">As it is part of my history's course.</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br></span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">When I was 11 years old,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">On my way to school,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">I saw my best friend on a gurney,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Hit by a man who wore blue.</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br></span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">This off duty policeman,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Was driving while drunk,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">But he never saw justice,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">His case hidden in a county trunk </span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br></span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Or my friend in college,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Who had an ebony skintone, </span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">And couldn't drive off campus at night, </span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">The cops would harass and not leave him alone.</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br></span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Or when my husband was pulled over,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">And he was asked if he had ammunition, </span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Nothing he did deserved that first question, </span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">His ethnicity was what caused the suspicion.</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br></span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Or when we were stopped in the Midwest,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">The officer infered prostitutes were what we are, </span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">For driving with my husband, a brown man, </span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Who without cause was held in his cop car.</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br></span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">And all of these cases,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Which made my blood boil,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Fail to compare,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">To the brutality which makes me coil.</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br></span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">How can those who used a taser,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">On a man who was hog tied,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Escape all charges? </span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Even though they are the reason a man died? </span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br></span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">I have to remind myself,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">That most are not this evil,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Many have good intentions,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">And are honest and real.</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br></span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">But to the good ones,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">I make this small plea,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Don't turn a blind eye to injustice,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Don't use your union to set them free.</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br></span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">See in the history of Orange County,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">A cop has never been found guilty,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Of any charges of murder,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">And that can't be coincidently. </span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br></span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Don't bail out the guilty,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">A blind band of brothers won't do, </span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Please stand for what is right,</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;">And don't be part of the few who ruin the Blue.</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br></span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><font face="Helvetica"><span style="font-size: 12px;"> </span></font></p>Emilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00842248700521917031noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5062763509873710642.post-62791731930229676492014-01-05T10:20:00.001-08:002014-02-19T22:28:24.222-08:00Is Intercultural Competence Privilege As Problematic As White Privilege?<div>Now this article might sound strange coming from a white girl, so let me explain my background a bit: </div><div><br></div><div>I grew up in Hawaii and loved growing up in such a diverse environment. Every May we would highlight our diversity through our May Day celebration, featuring songs and dance from each culture. We learned to value and respect the many different cultures that make up Hawaii. </div><div><br></div><div>However, on a couple occasions, I experienced something that most Caucasians do not- I was picked on because I was white. For example, I had gum spit in my hair and was pushed against a wall while a girl yelled "f-ing Haole" (a derogatory term for white people) when I was in Junior High. </div><div><br></div><div>In spite of the hurt that comes with being picked on because of your ethnicity (none of the people who picked on me knew me- they just knew I was white), I also had a good understanding as to why there was hostility towards white people by some locals. Missionaries taking over their beautiful land and culture, real estate investors building monstrosities of hotels on the beautiful and serene beaches and the loss of native land to name a few. </div><div><br></div><div>I knew all of this because I had the privilege of growing up in Hawaii and knew how to interact with a diverse group of people as a result. The negative incidents were few and far between, partly because I knew the situation (and got along with all the other non-Caucasians who knew me) and partly because there are only a small number of hostile people. A white kid who had just moved from the mainland would usually be picked on a lot more than a white kid who lived there their whole life. </div><div><br></div><div>In addition to this, I saw the racial caste system in Hawaii. Tongans and Filipinos were often made fun of or treated as less than by other racial groups. Those who had more Hawaiian blood were on the top of the system (and often made it known by writing "100% Hawaiian" on their backpacks and folders). </div><div><br></div><div>I grew up with 4 of my teachers being Japanese, and as a result, I learned a lot more about the horrific treatment of that culture during WWII than a lot of my friends who didn't grow up in Hawaii. </div><div><br></div><div>It is partially because of this, that I realized some minorities have less of a platform than others and some of our horrific incidents in history as a nation have been essentially brushed under a rug. </div><div><br></div><div>I loved my upbringing. I would never change where I grew up. Hawaii is a beautiful place, and 90% of the time is a benchmark for diversity and other cultures coming together to form a wonderful culture of their own. Living there has caused me to constantly desire and appreciate a diverse environment. But it's wrong to say everything is perfect... If we deny that, we can never move forward in terms of race relations. </div><div><br></div><div>As a result of my upbringing, I have a very diverse group of friends, from all different ethnicities, cultures and backgrounds. My husband is Hispanic (which really confuses people when they see my last name and then meet me). Throughout our relationship I have seen my husband encounter a lot because of his race... Things I would have never imagined possible in this day and age. As an interracial couple we have experienced a handful of racist incidents too- cops harassing us, a restaurant in southern Missouri refusing to serve us and people giving us dirty looks.</div><div><br></div><div>I present my background merely as a foundation- I am not a white girl who feels like she can talk about different races because "my best friend is black" (though incidentally one if my best friends is). I am a white girl who has experienced a lot when it comes to diversity and race relations. And I am thankful for that, as I know it is a <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">privilege.</span> However, I also acknowledge I will never fully understand the life of a black man who has been beaten because of his skin color, the life of a homosexual who has been sexually harassed by bullies or what it is like to be an undocumented immigrant who is constantly harassed by ICE. We each have different experiences and our different experiences shouldn't be used as a way to compete with one another as to "who has it worse." Rather these experiences should be used to learn from one another and grow as people. </div><div><br></div><div>Though some of us have experienced varying degrees of racism and hurt, those of us who come from diverse backgrounds have the <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">privilege</span> of having a good foundational understanding of diversity. </div><div><br></div><div>So here are 5 things that those of us with intercultural competence must note:</div><div><br></div><div>1. Intercultural competence is a privilege </div><div><br></div><div>My husband and I were shocked when we moved to Missouri. People were so "white" (both skin tone and culturally). Many of them really only knew white people (which made sense it rural Missouri). The move was tough for many reasons, but the worst part about it was the lack of diversity (especially in the food). ;) </div><div><br></div><div>One time, there was woman who we worked with who saw my husband at the store and wished him "Merry Christmas." Then she said "oh I am sorry, do you celebrate Christmas?" My husband was holding stockings and a popcorn can with Santa's face on it.</div><div><br></div><div>We had a good laugh about it at her expense, but in hindsight that was wrong. She has lived in an area with only white people her whole life. And tv and the internet can only do so much when you have never experienced living in a diverse environment.</div><div><br></div><div>When people say "stupid things" we shouldn't jump at the opportunity to demonize them... We should instead learn more about their background. Yes some people are just bigoted- even if they come from a diverse background. But we shouldn't assume that all people who don't say interculturally competent things are racist- they just haven't had the <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">privilege</span> of living in a diverse environment. Those of us who did, have learned many lessons they have not- we hold knowledge, which is a <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">privilege</span> This isn't to say that they don't have <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">privilege</span> in many other ways, we should just note this is an area where they do not have the <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">privilege</span> we do. </div><div><br></div><div>2. We often forget about the other minorities </div><div><br></div><div>SNL was in the news for months after Lorne Michaels was confronted for the lack of black female actors on the show. He made a controversial statement saying that they would hire a black female actor when a talented one was available. This statement upset many people, from many different races because there are many talented black female comedians around. The public outcry eventually led to SNL hiring a black female actor in January. </div><div><br></div><div>Though I am glad that SNL responded to the public outcry that there is a major diversity problem, people are acting like SNL is diverse now... It is not. There have been 4 black female actors in SNL's history, but only two Hispanic (males) and no Asians. This is not ok- we should all be continuing with the momentum and outcry for the lack of racial diversity on this show, yet we all seem satisfied that just one group's demands were met. When we only come along one group and forget others who are being marginalized, we are just lying to ourselves. We must not forget other minorities. </div><div><br></div><div>3. We think we are exempt from being racist or bigoted</div><div><br></div><div>I love the movie "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner." This movie was so ahead if it's time for many reasons, but namely because Spencer Tracey's character was a progressive man. He stood up for civil rights and believed everyone should be treated equally. But when his daughter brought home a black man, it brought all his true feelings to the surface... and he was conflicted with what he felt. </div><div><br></div><div>I think we all have feelings that are racially motivated whether we realize it it not. Sometimes an incident can bring these ugly feelings to the surface and we are forced to confront them. </div><div><br></div><div>One of my best friends and I were talking once about how we notice we will either think or say something with racist undertones about other drivers while driving through Garden Grove (a predominantly Asian area). We know that we don't really believe a people group can be categorized as bad drivers, nor would we, two seemingly progressive people, want to ever admit we think these things if we are in a bad place. Yet, if we don't acknowledge these feelings when they come up, we will keep pushing them down, and we will never be able to work on our issues and move forward. We must admit that we all have feelings and thoughts we are not proud of, but should acknowledge them and strive to move towards understanding and respect.</div><div><br></div><div>4. As a result of #3, we treat all people who are <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">privileged</span> as others</div><div><br></div><div>Socioeconomic status, mixed with race is doing more harm than good in academia. It's actually quite offensive. </div><div><br></div><div>Affirmative action in its present state assumes that all minorities come from a lower socioeconomic class and thus will often provide countless scholarship opportunities based off of this logic. This is problematic for two reasons. First; we are mixing socioeconomic status and race. While they are not always mutually exclusive, it's racist to assume and blend them into one category. When we do that, we are placing preconceived labels on people. Secondly, those who are from a lower socioeconomic class, but are not minorities feel as if they are not being offered a fair chance. This builds up feelings of resentment and will cause more racial strife between groups down the road. Those who are white are not always <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">privileged</span> across the board... In some cases they have even less <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">privilege.</span> We must realize that <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">privilege</span> is categorized (yes you have some <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">privilege</span> as a white male in some areas, but it doesn't always mean you have it across the board- finances, religion, education etc also all play a role in <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">privilege</span>). </div><div><br></div><div>Look at socioeconomic status and race- don't just assume the two are combined. If we do that, we inadvertently treat those we deem privileged (whether correctly or incorrectly) as others. </div><div><br></div><div>5. We need to show more compassion to others </div><div><br></div><div>Since many of us from a diverse environment know what is right and wrong from an intercultural standpoint, we also know what we can and cannot say. And we must acknowledge that this is a <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">privilege</span> Not every person who says something that is interculturally incompetent is bigoted, some just have not had the <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">privilege</span> that we have had in knowing what is and is not racist (and more importantly why). Yes, books can teach us a lot, but real life experiences give us the ever coveted street smarts, which proves to be much more valuable. </div><div><br></div><div>When I first moved to Missouri, I was taken aback by the ignorant things I would hear. But after two years there, and many heart to heart conversations, I realized there were very few bigoted people, just some who were uninformed. But once they became informed, they changed the way they acted and spoke. Sometimes it takes those of us with <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">privilege</span> to come alongside those who don't have <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">privilege</span> to progress together. </div><div><br></div><div>So there it is... Based off of my looks alone, one would never think I would have the right to talk about such things. Judging someone by their looks is wrong- we need to accept that all of us have a unique background which forms us into the people we are. We need to respect one another and show compassion to those who were not <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">privileged</span> enough to grow up in diverse environments. That is the only way ALL of us will progress and the only way we will make our world a better place for our children. </div><div><br></div>Emilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00842248700521917031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5062763509873710642.post-2629983858213370082014-01-01T15:49:00.001-08:002014-01-01T20:58:45.188-08:00Ten Years Man! Ten Years!<div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV8coubaYI8jVPtkkJX3Tu4DWLv0pxD9zKKIw5vT39YVBtQumS-hDBXe27e80uAqAe9FPy3eN3hUNHjhHWR4k_yUYfwPi6XHpZDQLKjIZf79FcUwVLgSZrQR6FJKS9DabhqkhbvvwJY2Gc/s640/blogger-image-1680018192.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV8coubaYI8jVPtkkJX3Tu4DWLv0pxD9zKKIw5vT39YVBtQumS-hDBXe27e80uAqAe9FPy3eN3hUNHjhHWR4k_yUYfwPi6XHpZDQLKjIZf79FcUwVLgSZrQR6FJKS9DabhqkhbvvwJY2Gc/s640/blogger-image-1680018192.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One of my husband's favorite movies (and it's up there on my list too) is Grosse Pointe Blank. If you haven't seen it, it's a really funny movie that involves a ten year high school reunion. The main character runs into a friend who cannot believe it has been ten years since they graduated high school. He goes on and on about it and keeps obnoxiously shouting out "Ten years man! Ten years!" </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And in 2014 I find myself in a similar spot... Realizing that it has been ten years since I graduated high school. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When I graduated high school in 2004, I wondered what life would be like in the year of my ten year reunion. Would I be married? Would I have kids? What kind of job would I have? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In 2004, I had no idea about all that would happen over the period of ten years... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I didn't know that I would volunteer at a non-profit organization the following year and end up working there for 9 years (and going) and eventually become a director of a department there. I didn't know that God would use my skill set and the passions from my youth at this job (like my interest/borderline obsession with geography, different cultures and talking/storytelling ... or communicating if I want to sound more professional). I didn't know that when I was 20 years old, a stranger had a word from God confirming this call on my life and that he said "God has you going to many countries throughout the world and you are going to see miracles like blind men seeing and lame men walking." I didn't know that I would go to countries in Africa, South America and Asia with my work and experience the miracles this stranger had prophesied. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I didn't know that I would graduate with a degree in Communications from Vanguard University (I started with a Sociology degree) and a Leadership Master's degree from a small university in rural Missouri. I didn't know of the deep and amazing lifelong friendships I would make while I was in school. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I didn't know that I would meet the love of my life when I was 19 years old and all that we would experience together. I didn't know that four significant members of my family would not be at my wedding and that they would not speak to me or the rest of the family for three years. I didn't know that God would use the situation to allow me to become closer with every other family member and that He would speak His truth through all of them, helping me overcome my people pleasing issues and the extreme anxiety that parliyzed me. I didn't know that God would bring His restoration to this situation and how He used it to help me grow more than I could have ever imagined. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I didn't know that I would grow in my independence while living in Portland for a year and that after I got married I would move to the middle of nowhere Missouri. I didn't know that my husband and I would be "Mom and Dad" to over 60 teenage boys while living with them in a dorm (and I didn't know how much we would love them and have many of them in our lives for the long haul). I didn't know that we would have so many adventures while living there and be able to travel so much in the US and that we would be able to backpack through Europe.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I didn't know that my husband would drop down to 115 lbs and that he would almost die from his hyperthyroid. I didn't know that our school in Missouri would make a tax mistake right before we moved back to California and completely drain our savings. I didn't know that my husband would be out of work for a year and a half and that we would be so poor that we could only eat food like soup or Mac & Cheese and that we still couldn't make ends meet. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I didn't know that in the year leading up to my ten year reunion God would drastically change our lives by providing my husband with a job in his field and that he would provide me with two unexpected payraises. I didn't know he would allow us to move from our dangerous old neighborhood and bless us with an amazing new apartment. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And these are only some of the things I didn't know. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don't think the 18 year old version of me would have ever been able to guess all of the things that I would experience over the next ten years. I am so thankful for all 3,650 days- both the blessed and difficult seasons. I'm thankful for every experience and how God allowed me to grow through those times. I am so thankful for His faithfulness and the amazing life He has blessed me with and I am so excited for all that 2014 (and the future holds). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Despite the likelihood of not keeping New Year's resolutions, I still like to set goals each year. Last year I aimed to memorize the book of Philipians, but only memorized most of chapter 4. I set a goal to eat 1200 calories or less a day and workout 3 days a week, but probably only did that 75% of the time. But I set a goal to read 2 books a month, and read 28 (4 more than I had to). Even if I didn't meet all my goals, I think the goals challenged me to do more than I would have, had I not set any goals. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So without further adieu, here are my top ten goals<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> for 2014:</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1. Read through the Bible in a year</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have not done this since I was 13 years old, and thought it was about time to do this again. I decided to go with a plan that is a chronological reading (to the best of these Bibical historian's knowledge). Excited to see what God reveals this time around. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2. Use myfitness app everyday </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I hope to record my 1200 calories (or less), 5 minute ab routine, 8 glasses of water and different workouts (with hopefully more being outside activities like hiking) everyday. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">3. Write a blog once a week </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My job involves lots of writing, so I have been slacking on my personal writing. I hope to use this blog to write blog posts, short stories, thoughts, poems and any other form if creative writing once a week. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">4. Read at least 2 books a month </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I learned so much from the books I read last year. Whether they challenged my theological beliefs, taught me more about leadership in the work place or were a stunning example of wordsmithing and storytelling, I learned so much. And I want to learn even more in 2014. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">5. Use my duolingo app everyday </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have been trying to learn Spanish since I was 20 and have been failing miserably. This is the best language app I have ever come across and only requires 15 minutes a day. Wish me luck amigos!</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Art has an amazing way of centering me. I get busy and forget to do art, something I very much enjoy. Whether it is painting, drawing a comic, finishing my photography class or doing web design I need to make more of an effort in this area. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">7. Take at least one walk by myself everyday at work</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is a great way to get centered, inspiration and most importantly a time set aside to spend with God, whether it is just being still with Him or getting His guidance. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">8. Take a picture everyday</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We are so blessed to live in 2014 and as cheesy as the #photoadaychallenges are, it is an awesome way to document daily life and reflect on all the different experiences I have had. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">9. Incorporate more music in my life </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I need to listen to more music and play my instruments more... Period. Music centers me like art and sadly I have been pretty neglectful to one of my favorite parts of life. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">10. Seek out more ways to grow in certain areas spiritually</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I go to my church twice a week, work at a Christian organization and most of my friends are Christian. I don't have many opportunities to evangelize, but don't want to use that as an excuse. I have always loved the song "Make my life a prayer to You" by Keith Green and want seek the ways in which God can allow me to grow and share His goodness with others. Excited to see how He will do this in spite of me and all my flaws.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I hope this long blog post reflects my thankfulness for the life God has blessed me with and pray it serves as an encouragement to you as you reflect on the life you have been blessed with. Happy 2014! </span></div>
Emilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00842248700521917031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5062763509873710642.post-34381561197973476522013-10-30T21:10:00.001-07:002013-10-30T21:10:59.673-07:00New LinesMy new bathroom has floresent lighting,<div>Directly over the mirror,</div><div>For the first time I have seen new lines,</div><div>They are very clear.</div><div><br></div><div>My finger follows the crows feet,</div><div>Formed by my squinty eyes,</div><div>I think of all the times they appear,</div><div>When I laugh, smile or cry. </div><div><br></div><div>Next I follow a line,</div><div>A u-shape under my eye,</div><div>It's the newest addition,</div><div>In my 27 years of life.</div><div><br></div><div>Some hate growing old,</div><div>Letting wrinkles show their age,</div><div>For me, each crevice represents </div><div>My life story on display.</div><div><br></div><div>The formation of the lines,</div><div>Started with my first smile,</div><div>They grew deeper and deeper, </div><div>With the experiences on file.</div><div><br></div><div>They grew deeper still,</div><div>As I smiled at my first defensive save, </div><div>Moreso when I worked for hours,</div><div>To receive a final grade: A.</div><div><br></div><div>Deeper they grew still,</div><div>When a boy first held my hand,</div><div>When I received my driver's license,</div><div>And got asked the dance.</div><div><br></div><div>When I got accepted to college,</div><div>When I met the love of my life,</div><div>The moment I said I do,</div><div>And received a promotion after much strife.</div><div><br></div><div>Continue to hold the dear memories,</div><div>Capsules of of my experiences,</div><div>Grow deeper and deeper,</div><div>And fill up with these credences. </div>Emilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00842248700521917031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5062763509873710642.post-39962338918400579092013-10-28T22:51:00.002-07:002013-10-28T22:54:33.756-07:00An Eye For An Eye- Part 2<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There was a bright light that blinded Kenny in one eye, making it impossible to see what was in front of him.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-1b72ddc2-02bf-1c00-fe41-c99c0c58dc95" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Though he was blinded, he walked closer to see what the light held.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Kenny, my son!” he heard his father say. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">He saw his father in the light- radiating.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Dad, how can it be you?”</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Come my son, come and hug me.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Kenny had no idea as to how it was possible, but ran and hugged his father who had been dead for nearly 20 years. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">His embrace was so warm, Kenny felt like a child again in his father’s arms.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“It’s time to go son,” his father said.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Kenny turned around and saw his lifeless body lying on the floor. The owner of the home stood above him screaming and shouting “I killed him- I cant breathe... I'm gonna be sick.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And as Kenny and his father began to levitate, they heard another gun blast and saw that the man took his own life…. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And there was no light.</span></div>
Emilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00842248700521917031noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5062763509873710642.post-6425237265029033682013-10-17T22:32:00.001-07:002013-10-17T22:32:17.164-07:00An Eye For An Eye- Part 1Kenny approached the door in a slow and drawn out manner. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up straight, as the wind howled behind him. <div><br></div><div>Some dried out leaves circled around his feet as he stood on the creeky porch. He raised his hand, formed a fist, and prepared to knock on the door.</div><div><br></div><div>"Come on," he said. "Just knock on the door." </div><div><br></div><div>But he couldn't do it... The horrible memories plauged his thoughts.</div><div><br></div><div>"Help me," the young voice shrieked. </div><div><br></div><div>He looked around and said to himself "It's not real... Just get in and get out."</div><div><br></div><div>He knocked on the door with all his might and was stunned when it opened right away.</div><div><br></div><div>"I've come to get what is mine!"</div><div><br></div><div>The four walls made him feel as if the house was closing in on him. <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">For it was in this house nearly 20 years before, that the most precious thing was taken from him... </span></div><div><br></div><div>"An eye for an eye..." he shouted loudly.</div><div><br></div><div>As he shouted, what he feared most approached him.... </div>Emilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00842248700521917031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5062763509873710642.post-26202614824969482732013-09-07T12:10:00.001-07:002013-09-07T12:14:05.073-07:00False Statements Of Equality, Service and Love?<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIAYykrKuduwHzKi88kOJqqcxqXM3PW3-BBPwBw47mfCu7Ok2MGa0vnMvEgsrh2PMRUQ7VGswUnPMkCevwrfecw1MqC-NF84HEPQGz0kuy9ccFI-KH7lc1fxdnWH2s85QoKRVdJQuuzr42/s640/blogger-image--1321963929.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIAYykrKuduwHzKi88kOJqqcxqXM3PW3-BBPwBw47mfCu7Ok2MGa0vnMvEgsrh2PMRUQ7VGswUnPMkCevwrfecw1MqC-NF84HEPQGz0kuy9ccFI-KH7lc1fxdnWH2s85QoKRVdJQuuzr42/s640/blogger-image--1321963929.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div>Statements. <div><br></div><div>We seem to think that they dictate events in our world (and that they have throughout the course of history). </div><div><br></div><div>I have a dream. Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country. Love thy neighbor. </div><div><br></div><div>We value these statements (and so many others) and truly believe that we as individuals live them out. But are we doing this in our daily lives? </div><div><br></div><div><b>I</b> <b>have a dream</b>: Do I have hope in the future? Do I actually want every single person I know to have an equal chance at things I want (the same job promotion, the same income, the same level of popularity)? Or if I look closer at myself, do I only want this for those people in my life who I deem as worthy of receiving the same things? </div><div><br></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><b>Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country</b>: What am I doing for my country? How am I serving the people of my nation? Am I one who lodges an Internet rant when the leaders of the country are doing something I disagree with, expecting the nation to do what I want? Or am I striving to do things to make my community a better place? Am I asking what I can do for the people of my country? </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><b>Love thy neighbor</b>: Do I truly love the person I work with or do I give a blank stare every time they say something that I think is stupid? Do I harbor resentment or do I strive to see what God sees (good and bad)? I am able to love my husband, family and close friends- with both their good and bad traits, because I know I have good and bad traits as well. But beyond that, can I honestly say I love each person, each neighbor in my life? </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We like to think that these statements rule our lives- as Americans, as Christian, as progressive people. But are these evident in our own lives or are they just statements we believe that we live by? Just because we don't think we are racist, doesn't mean we believe in social, class or other forms of equality. Just because we love our country, doesn't mean we are serving the people in it and trying to make it a better place. Just because we love most of our neighbors, doesn't mean we are showing love to everyone in our lives. </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">How do we fix this? How do we humble our hearts to truly live out equality, service and love? </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Lord, show me how to live out these things more. Especially Your command to love thy neighbor, because that is where it all begins. Amen </span></div>Emilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00842248700521917031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5062763509873710642.post-71740786394958680742013-07-28T23:20:00.001-07:002013-07-29T07:57:25.458-07:00How Dare You Threaten Me!How dare you threaten me!<div>With your thoughts so against mine,</div><div>Your words are so wrong!</div><div>Or could our thoughts be in line? </div><div><br></div><div>Are you actually stating,</div><div>What I feel and fear most? </div><div>Am I so threatened by your words,</div><div>Since I've wondered the "blasphemous?"</div><div><br></div><div>Am I threatened by your statement,</div><div>Because I've secretly thought the same?</div><div>Am I worried about exposure,</div><div>That you'll highlight my shame?</div><div><br></div><div>Is that why I am angered,</div><div>By your statement as is,</div><div>I view it as a threat,</div><div>Against my own image? </div><div><br></div><div>Could it be when we are honest,</div><div>And question You Lord,</div><div>It is not blasphemy,</div><div>But a way to grow & know you more? </div><div><br></div><div>The tough questions and situations,</div><div>Help me grow with others,</div><div>We expose our true selves,</div><div>Versus lying about having it all together</div><div><br></div><div>If You care about the lilies and birds,</div><div>And say that you care for us more,</div><div>Why are Christians in some countries,</div><div>Dying because they are starved?</div><div><br></div><div>Why did you say that this generation,</div><div>Would not pass away,</div><div>Before you returned,</div><div>Have we excused it away?</div><div><br></div><div>These questions don't cause me,</div><div>To trust or revere You less,</div><div>Perhaps You will show me the answer,</div><div>Perhaps my thoughts will remain a mess</div><div><br></div><div>The truth is You have proved,</div><div>Yourself o'er and o'er,</div><div>These small questions don't stop that,</div><div>Just cause me to be honest more</div><div><br></div><div>I want to be honest about</div><div>Faith, love and doubts,</div><div>Rather than be threatened, </div><div>And to grow in my "what abouts" </div>Emilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00842248700521917031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5062763509873710642.post-8571875607334316382013-07-23T15:41:00.001-07:002013-07-23T15:41:13.557-07:00ConfusionEgotistical, entitled<div>Neurotic I suppose, </div><div>Deserving, a calling,</div><div>A life of purpose of sorts.</div><div><br></div><div>Are these desires selfish?</div><div>Are they for my own good?</div><div>Is being a voice flooded</div><div>By a sea of others who would?</div><div><br></div><div>Am I apathetic if I stay where I am?</div><div>Will I regret not trying for more?</div><div>Or is thinking I'm called for greater,</div><div>Like the words mentioned before?</div><div><br></div><div>I hate apathy,</div><div>But I hate feeling entitled,</div><div>I want to live in the moment,</div><div>And not be in denial </div><div><br></div><div>So direct me if I missing something,</div><div>If You have called me for more,</div><div>And not let the precious moments,</div><div>Slip away evermore </div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Emilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00842248700521917031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5062763509873710642.post-17780162423615151162013-04-05T20:31:00.001-07:002013-04-05T20:31:11.315-07:00LegacyMy friend Grace & I had a chat the other day about our legacy. What impact would we have on people in our daily lives, work or on people we barely know. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and these are the things I want associated with my legacy:<br />
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1. Joyful. This a natural quality that I have... I have been a "happy camper" since I was little. Even though this is a natural quality, it doesn't always seem to come naturally. Things and situations in my life make me frustrated, bitter and cynical. Every time I let that take hold, I feel as if I lose a little bit of my joy (and I don't want to do that). Christ tells us He has given us His joy, so our joy can be complete. I want my heart to be filled with this rather than bitterness. I have seen what bitterness can do to a person & I don't want that. <br />
2. Kind. Along the same lines, difficult or frustrating situations can cause me to be cynical and sarcastic. I would rather show kindness to all people, no matter how they treat me. <br />
3. Hard-worker (who produces great stuff). I want to work hard, because I feel strongly about having a strong work ethic. But, I don't want to work hard for the sake of working hard... I want to produce content that impacts people, helps others and improves the status quo. Additionally I want to work hard while I am at work,, but to leave work at work, so I can lead a healthy life outside of work- always putting God and my family first. <br />
4. A powerful communicator. I think that God has given me the ability to be a powerful communicator. I know I will always learn new ways to improve this gift, but I know that it is one that He has blessed me with and I want to use it to honor Him. <br />
5. A reflection of God's love. God loves me despite all my flaws. I want to love others with this same kind of love... No matter how frustrating they might be. <br />
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So now, it's time to pray that He will help me to keep or make these qualities part of my life and legacy. Lord, show me how to have a legacy which brings honor to You. <br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLMz-eFykI09ojEW8Gf-4OoccROJTWIlW12eBZAsUlXGbfTMRU4oiLR7Jy9lY587xmSGyvvOP-9EZshq7suEXkrsGb3b-eM_7yiqInvPeK0qChB9GMvmNha5rG5oHqDfGUt_kY92WIs2my/s640/blogger-image-604750674.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLMz-eFykI09ojEW8Gf-4OoccROJTWIlW12eBZAsUlXGbfTMRU4oiLR7Jy9lY587xmSGyvvOP-9EZshq7suEXkrsGb3b-eM_7yiqInvPeK0qChB9GMvmNha5rG5oHqDfGUt_kY92WIs2my/s640/blogger-image-604750674.jpg" /></a></div>Emilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00842248700521917031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5062763509873710642.post-25670356736275490802013-02-11T08:42:00.001-08:002013-02-11T08:42:21.051-08:00Refreshed, Renewed & Ready (Well As much As I Can Be)The conference was, in one word, amazing. I felt a sense of renewed passion for my work & the calling I believe the Lord has placed on my life. I have been reflecting a lot in all that He has done to bring me to this place, all the ways He has made His voice clear. All I know is despite myself, He has allowed me to be used by Him and I am extremely humbled. I am blessed by my co-workers from around the world & I am looking forward to future collaborations & implementing ideas which came from this week.<br />
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Istanbul was equally amazing. In addition to seeing some amazing sites, it was the first time in a long time that I really took it slow. There was no agenda. I drew by the seaside, walked along the historic routes and took time to just slowly enjoy life. Despite the business of my daily life, I hope I can incorporate this into my life more. It was not only good to slow down mentally and physically, but to have more time spiritually to be with God. I have enjoyed reading Philippians and enjoyed taking in the amazing examples of His handiwork (like the sunset pictured here). <br />
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I needed both of these elements to come back to whatever is in store next (I really have no idea what is next). I'm as ready as I'll ever be (aka not ready for anything without Him). Thankfully, I know He is with me through it all, especially when I choose to abide in Him.<br />
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Jer and I both have a peace about the next chapter of life, but don't know what is in store for sure. I'm so thankful for my sweet husband. He is absolutely amazing and a reminder of God's faithfulness and how much He truly loves me (and I don't even know the full extent). <br />
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Thank you Lord for this time of renewal and refreshment. Thank you for seeing us through tough seasons and for seeing us through peaceful ones. Thank you for being the same yesterday, today & forever- Amen! <br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVnxSAwpxdJlqV98RWgH9w3465ZeQ3FdusLSmmTb59gQLOyY8a0GvymM2IhVXaAH1bALcsPuDKit32FKrrfbaNdDZ_K9TzC5qYpb8MCYu9cVsck7-sc6aJ4NB-VAKMbvvbDFbJDahBH4KG/s640/blogger-image-1583357412.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVnxSAwpxdJlqV98RWgH9w3465ZeQ3FdusLSmmTb59gQLOyY8a0GvymM2IhVXaAH1bALcsPuDKit32FKrrfbaNdDZ_K9TzC5qYpb8MCYu9cVsck7-sc6aJ4NB-VAKMbvvbDFbJDahBH4KG/s640/blogger-image-1583357412.jpg" /></a></div>Emilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00842248700521917031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5062763509873710642.post-38918665475192150222013-02-03T04:16:00.001-08:002013-02-03T04:16:27.981-08:00Istanbul was ConstantinopleI am currently en route to Istanbul and will have a connecting flight to Amsterdam for a work conference. After the conference, I will fly back to Istanbul & will spend a few vacation days there, before heading back. I don't think words can describe how excited I am for both- so thankful to be given this opportunity :) <br />
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When I was 8, I dressed up as a little Dutch girl & only dreamt of visiting the country one day. And for years I have read about the rich history of Turkey: the 7 churches Paul wrote to were from this country, the Ottoman Empire and the Grand Bazaar. I know I say this a lot, but I am so thankful for the way God has allowed me to experience my childhood dreams, use my gifts (including the ones I went to school for) and that all of this can be used for an amazing ministry. <br />
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I'm reading Mindy Kaling's book right now (which is amazing) & she too expresses her gratitude for being able to fulfill her childhood dreams. It's a gift not everyone gets, so I am very thankful to be blessed with it (well maybe I am not an Archeologist or inventor, but it is arguable that as a communicator, one has to go on an 'archeological dig' for new ideas and invent new ways of presenting them) :). I guess all I am trying to say is God has renewed my love for what He has called me to in so many amazing ways (including new opportunities i never thought possible) and for this I am beyond grateful. <br />
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Jer has some upcoming interviews this week. Mind saying a prayer for him- that God would open the right doors, according to his perfect will? I was reminded the other day of how Jer gave up the opportunity to go to school (with a large scholarship) for computer engineering. After a semester, he obeyed the calling he felt to study youth leadership at Vanguard (for a heck of a lot more money out of pocket no less).<br />
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I remember when we first were dating, he told me he didn't want to be a youth pastor. <br />
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"Then why are you studying to be one," I asked. <br />
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"I know I'm called to work with youth- just in a different capacity, though I'm not sure what it looks like," he said. <br />
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Well a few years later, it became very obvious that God had called him to minister to students in Higher Education. I know I have talked about our time in Missouri before, but it truly was an amazing ministry & calling that God had called Jer to. So many amazing stories, conversations abd relationships that I had the privilege of observing as a wife (and participating in together). <br />
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Not only would we like Jer to have a job for financial reasons (and preparing for our future), but more importantly to be used by God in the unique & wonderful ministry he has been called to (and has sacrificed so much for). In the meantime, God has opened up numerous short term ministry opportunities, which have been equally wonderful to observe as his spouse. Admittedly, I brag a little as a wife, but I am so proud if the man he is & that God blessed me with him. <br />
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Well, we are currently flying over the UK and with a little over 3 hours left on this flight, I am signing off. <br />
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Shout out alert: Thankful for the wifi and all the awesome amenities on Turkish Airlines :)<br />
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Peace out friends! <br />
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<br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicBcfZj7Bpt0xmZ4a_KGutcvDQaykfu6P4SAipGyNA44dwKpa4kfHvIt9p2GIoaR5kccGTFsMhxG2hB5s6ZNMkoIQlzRBI3RFXnP7zohVwu2jXyb24RxSdVj5F54CPiE59-4CabwAosDMd/s640/blogger-image-15253665.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicBcfZj7Bpt0xmZ4a_KGutcvDQaykfu6P4SAipGyNA44dwKpa4kfHvIt9p2GIoaR5kccGTFsMhxG2hB5s6ZNMkoIQlzRBI3RFXnP7zohVwu2jXyb24RxSdVj5F54CPiE59-4CabwAosDMd/s640/blogger-image-15253665.jpg" /></a></div>Emilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00842248700521917031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5062763509873710642.post-21586573910154244032013-01-13T10:55:00.001-08:002013-01-13T10:55:16.422-08:00A Truthful GenerationAs I have been working on a book about our generation, I have observed many things (from a Christian worldview). One of the things I have been wondering is if our generation has been forced to be a more honest one? <br />
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Since the dawn of social media, people's lives have been on display. People used to hide photos they didn't want others to see or would censor things that they would say, but it seemed almost inevitable that someone would tag them in an unwanted photo or would share something on their wall that they previously would have been mortified that they would share. <br />
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Since crowd control is a little more difficult now in days, it seems like people have almost given up trying to display two separate lives- and are a bit more honest (not saying they are 100% honest about who they are and what they do, but are more so than in previous times because of technological forces).<br />
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I think this is good and bad. Good points: seems there is more grace from others (since they know that their brother or long lost friend could share something on a social media website they wouldn't want the world to see) and also that their is a bit less hypocrisy (because it is a lot easier to point out the plank in their eye with social media sources). Some people will try to keep everything perfect on social media, but that can be a full time job, so most don't.<br />
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The bad side if this? The honesty is forced, rather than coming from the desire of a person (social media just forces you to be honest about your personal life). <br />
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Secondly, photos can be deceiving. I was having a conversation with a friend recently who has a lot of "party" photos on Facebook & not much else. At first glance, it would look like she is a "party girl" but in actuality, she rarely drinks- she just happens to hang out with friends who do & that's the only time people post photos on FB. She has realized that people judge her, even though the situation is much different than it appears.<br />
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Lastly, I wonder if not all off our lives should be shared. The example of my friend reminds me that I too do not drink often, but might have a drink with some close friends sometimes. I strive to follow the guidelines the Bible lays out for us regarding drinking (do not get drunk with wine, but instead be filled with the Holy Spirit & to not eat or drink things in the presence if others which might offend or cause them to stumble). I don't believe that there is anything wrong with having a drink or drinking in moderation (we know that Jesus drank wine on multiple occasions), but I will not drink in front of anyone who it might cause to stumble or who it might offend. The problem with social media is that if someone takes a picture of me with a glass of wine next to me or maybe surrounded by people who are drinking (even if I am not), it might send a different message than intended to those who I would normally chose not to have a drink in front of.<br />
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I don't really have a solution to the problems at hand for our generation regarding this subject matter, more of just an observation. I guess the thing I can say is honesty & dialogue are the most important things for us. I am reminded that Jesus was open about drinking wine (the Bible is circulated a lot more than any of our Facebook pages) and that he modeled moderation. Dialogue is important because people make a lot of assumptions looking at pictures (some are accurate, while others are inaccurate). That is partially why I felt led to write this blog. This is a new and unique challenge for us who are members of this generation. <br />
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Whether it is about the food we eat, the drinks we drink, the people we hang with, the places we go or the things we say, it is vital that we first & foremost strive to honor The Lord in all we do. Emilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00842248700521917031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5062763509873710642.post-32374233342514597042013-01-01T19:30:00.001-08:002013-01-01T19:30:40.045-08:00Nothing Changes On New Year's DayI always get the U2 song New Year's Day stuck in my head every year on this day. The line that "nothing changes" on this day is one that always sticks out to me.<br />
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I think whether it is by resolution or hope for a brighter tomorrow, many if us expect drastic change in a year, though often not much will change. Occasionally there will be major change in the period of a year, but often it isn't anything close to what we think the change will look like. <br />
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A friend just got back from Thailand and said that the Mission agency she was with told her it would be strange coming back because a lot can change in a year with friends. She said nothing had seemed to change too drastically, which surprised her.<br />
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So with this, I know that things will change in a year, friends will have babies, people will move away or move home and some prayers for jobs may be answered. I know that I can't expect things i wan to see change to change unless I strive to venture to new, uncharted territories, where the streets have no names. Emilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00842248700521917031noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5062763509873710642.post-33358445715381761802012-12-28T01:49:00.000-08:002012-12-28T01:54:24.241-08:00A Year of ObservationsIf I could sum up my 26th year or perhaps the year 2012, it would be the year of learning through observing.<br />
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On the outside it would appear as if not much has changed in my life...we live in the same apartment, I am still at my job, Jer is still looking for full-time employment and we are still a one-car couple. However there have been multiple changes this year...changes I have observed and learned a lot from:<br />
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1. Niceness is both a strength and a weakness<br />
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I am more inclined to be a nice person. Perhaps it is because I am naturally a nice person. Perhaps it is because I am a people-pleaser. Perhaps it is a mixture of both. Now most of you would say "Duh" to this point, but it was ground-breaking to me. When you are nice or kind to everyone all the time, you cannot call them out when they need to be called out. You cannot help someone grow as a person if you only have kind words, instead of words that might be hard to hear at first, but are needed to help an individual. Now I am making it a point to find that happy balance of natural kindness and necessary firmness.<br />
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2. Leaders aren't forever, Neither is the current situation<br />
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Things change, times change, leaders change. Nothing is forever. Knock on doors while waiting it out. If God is opening or closing a door, He is faithful to guide you if you ask Him. Sometimes you cannot change a situation, but you are called to be there, to be used by God as He sees fit. Sometimes it may feel like you are not helping those you care about, but your presence or just knowing that you care has meant the world to them. You never know how God is using you in your current situation.<br />
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3. Squeaky wheels get the grease<br />
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I have been hearing a few good old fashion expressions like this or "time for them to go out to pastures." Both make me laugh because of the vivid descriptions associated with the meaning. Both are very true statements...especially the title statement. Whether it is something insightful, self-satisfying, in a complaining tone or to gain attention that is undue, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Its a bummer for those who strive to do things without complaining or do things without trying to bring glory to themselves. Sometimes it is those quiet tires you have to check on...their tread might be worn down, might be running out of air or they could be flat...check on all tires.<br />
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4. Extroverts can be Wallflowers<br />
<br />
The older I get, the more of an observer I become. I tend to add less to a conversation (unless its with those I am very close to) and tend to observe more. Some would take this as a sign of an introvert, but I am as much of an extrovert as I have ever been. I get my energy from people...many times by observing them<br />
<br />
5. Passions from my youth, which was really awhile ago<br />
<br />
I came to terms this year with the fact that I am in a new stage of life. I am no longer a young adult, but rather an adult (who is on the younger side). This made me realize that my childhood was awhile ago. However, this has caused me to reflect on my childhood more. I have realized this year more than ever that many of the things I was passionate about in my youth, I am passionate about now. Different cultures, traveling and meeting new people. When I was a kid, I had a money box....when people traveled to different areas around the world, they would bring me the currency from the countries that they had visited and I kept it in a box. When I was nine years old, I got a book which highlighted children from different cultures and countries...I would read this book nearly every single day. I dreamed of being an archaeologist. When I was 19, I was reminded of these passions when someone gave me a prophetic word, stating "You are going to go to many place in the world and see biblical miracles." Little did I know that would be happening through my work, which has encompassed both the passions from my youth and adulthood.<br />
<br />
Learned a lot of other things this year, but these were the highlights. If I learned this much this year, cant wait to see what I will learn next year.Emilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00842248700521917031noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5062763509873710642.post-5848685328785580272012-10-31T00:35:00.001-07:002012-10-31T00:39:06.745-07:00A Muslim GOP CandidateI'm constantly amazed by the racist comments that are still being stated 4 years later. People still believe that Obama wasn't born in the US & are still convinced that he is Muslim. Never has a white candidate been accused of these things. <br />
<br />
On the other hand, I'm also amazed at how many Christian Republicans who were once very outspoken about how Mormonism is a cult, are suddenly silent about it while fully supporting Romney. Even Billy Graham has removed the statement that "Mormonism is a cult" from his website and has endorsed Romney.<br />
<br />
*Side Note- it's pretty disheartening to me that in recent years that Billy Graham has been so political. I have always admired him for choosing not to be part of the Christian Right when approached by Pat Robertson in the 1980's. Perhaps this is due to him being older or Franklin Graham being more in charge of the organization.*<br />
<br />
A friend of mine & I were discussing these things this week and she posed this question: Do you think that Republican Christians would ever vote for a Muslim GOP candidate (since they have voted for a Mormon)?<br />
<br />
Now I doubt in the real (bigoted) world this would happen, but for arguments sake, let's say it was between a Muslim GOP candidate and a democrat... who do you think the Christian Right would choose to endorse? Emilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00842248700521917031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5062763509873710642.post-47535779963307488192012-10-10T16:05:00.001-07:002012-10-13T10:12:23.625-07:0026Introspective, reflective,<br />
Probably dwelling too much,<br />
I remember these events,<br />
And how my life has been touched.<br />
<br />
At age twenty six I have,<br />
A lifetime or more,<br />
Of trials, tribulations,<br />
For richer or poor<br />
<br />
I think of the adventures,<br />
And the ones still in store,<br />
I wonder what is next,<br />
As we knock on different doors,<br />
<br />
So many 'nearlies,' <br />
That I have lost count,<br />
It feels my chain is yanked, <br />
Or is it of greater amount?<br />
<br />
Could it be Your reminder,<br />
That You are still there,<br />
To keep seeking and asking,<br />
Remaining in prayer?<br />
<br />
Is the answer around the corner,<br />
Will Your hand guide us there,<br />
You've taught us so much, <br />
We are willing and with You prepared.<br />
<br />
To serve & honor You,<br />
The best that we can,<br />
We will take what we have learned,<br />
Striving to flee from sin's hand. <br />
<br />
We're ready to be used,<br />
Your ministry we crave,<br />
Bring us to this Lord,<br />
Please show us the way.<br />
Emilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00842248700521917031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5062763509873710642.post-61388769758963134112012-10-06T13:30:00.001-07:002012-10-08T22:10:31.113-07:0019Sometimes I think back to when I was 19 & note how it was probably the best year of my life. <br />
<br />
When I was 19 I started dating Jer, started working at OD & met some of my dearest friends. Things were good with my family & life was pretty care-free.<br />
<br />
Since then I have not had a year that has been as carefree. I have gone through multiple trials and tribulations (and some great times too). <br />
<br />
But the things I have gone through, the life experiences I have had, have formed me into the person I am today. <br />
<br />
I read a great devotional from Our Daily Bread the other day http://odb.org/2012/10/04/timing-is-everything/. It was about God's timing...reminders of how Joseph had to be in prison till he was called to his destiny or how Esther was uncertain of her future when she married the King. They went through long periods of trials, till they received their inheritance from God. <br />
<br />
I often wonder if life will ever be that enjoyable again. Maybe it will, maybe it won't. It may be here or it may be in heaven. But no matter what, I'm thankful for today. I'm blessed with an amazing marriage, a great job & amazing loved ones. Life isn't always easy, but the little things in each day are such a gift. Living in and enjoying today is key. Life lesson #247 Emilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00842248700521917031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5062763509873710642.post-75056529391854270402012-10-03T23:31:00.001-07:002012-10-03T23:31:33.270-07:00Today Is The Greatest Day I've Ever KnownIt hasn't even been a month since I got back from my trip and so much has happened. <br />
<br />
I'm 10 pounds lighter (20 pounds total), happier at my job and significantly less anxious.<br />
<br />
God did amazing things leading up to, during and following this trip. The situations and people He has placed in my life have been so influential and imperative in my development as a person. All I can say is- WOW!<br />
<br />
In this time we have had ups & downs. A lot has been revealed & a lot remains unknown. I am thankful for the change & opportunities that God has granted us. I have seen how God has used Jer & I and hope that He will use us more in the future. It's all very humbling. He takes good care of us :) <br />
<br />
I have been drawing & taking photographs more recently. I very much enjoy these creative outlets. Trying to incorporate music, language & other arts more too. <br />
<br />
Ever wonder where you will be in 5 years? I look ahead and realize that my life will probably be more different than it ever has before in 5 years. I probably will be a parent, we will either have our own place (or trying to save for our own place) and I will be in my 30's. Sometimes it seems like we will never get out of our current situation, but then I realize how drastically things can change. I want to enjoy today- even though finances might be tough & Jer doesn't have a job. We have a wonderful life, with wonderful people in our lives and I am very thankful for the experiences that have brought me to where I am today. Emilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00842248700521917031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5062763509873710642.post-69665384498371782022012-09-25T22:33:00.001-07:002012-09-25T23:02:12.892-07:00Giving it to GodI got sick this week and I think it caused me to realize how close to burning out I am. <br />
<br />
This week a co-worker began to show signs of being burned out. Good changes have been happening at work, but I think we still have to be careful as things continue to improve... We have been going full speed for a long time, and we need to give all the burdens associated with it to God. <br />
<br />
It's tough to give our burdens to Him. It's tough to give our uncertainties about the future to Him. It's tough to give our pain to Him.<br />
<br />
But when we do, He will give us rest- the rest we so desperately need. <br />
<br />
As I'm resting and trying to get better, I'm overwhelmed by His peace that passes all understanding. <br />
<br />
He reminds me of His faithfulness through a friend who called just to pray with me.<br />
<br />
He reminds me of His faithfulness through my boss who cares more about me than the work I produce.<br />
<br />
He reminds me of His faithfulness through my sweet husband who takes such good care of me and has put me first, sacrificing so much. <br />
<br />
I guess I didn't fully realize what it meant until I was married, but two really do become one. Wanting my husband to find steady work is not just so we will be financially stable, but because I know how fulfilled he is when he works in the field that he is passionate about. It's probably my biggest burden I carry and I need to give it to God yet again. He has shown His faithfulness so often, I need to trust Him and find rest in Him.<br />
<br />
Easier said than done. Help me Lord. Emilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00842248700521917031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5062763509873710642.post-91743091957302778742012-09-22T11:00:00.001-07:002012-09-22T11:00:13.254-07:00The Next Step of FaithIt's an interesting season of life right now...<br />
<br />
The long delay of two more days, <br />
Seems like an eternity,<br />
The fear that nothing will change,<br />
A depression that nags at me constantly.<br />
<br />
But You have brought us this far,<br />
Your guidance has been clear, <br />
So why do I continue to lack faith, <br />
And struggle with this fear?<br />
<br />
Thank you for providing,<br />
Thank you for making certain things known,<br />
Draw me closer to your side, <br />
For with You we are not alone.<br />
<br />
It's been a humbling past two months, with God not only making His voice clear on certain things, but also showing us why He had us do things a certain way. Let me trust You in this next stage Lord, no matter what the outcome is. Thank you for how You are refining us daily. Please continue to work in us, to be more like You. Amen. Emilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00842248700521917031noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5062763509873710642.post-83911752040061334082012-08-30T13:02:00.002-07:002012-08-30T13:15:05.496-07:00The Only Church I Could...A few weeks ago when the whole Chick-fil-a controversy was in full bloom, I asked my husband a question:<br />
<br />
“Have you ever attended a church that you would feel comfortable taking an openly gay friend to?”<br />
<br />
We both thought about it for a minute. He said that he thought some of the people of the church he attended as a teenager would probably be welcoming, but wasn’t sure about the church in general. Initially, I couldn’t think of one either. But after going through a mental list of all the churches I had attended in my life, I thought of one- Community of Faith Church.<br />
<br />
Community of Faith Church was the small church we attended while we lived in rural Maryville, Missouri. It was a typical picturesque, Midwest, country church… the kind that still had church potlucks and had just a few lines of pews.<br />
<br />
Based on this description, I am sure that it is hard to believe that this is the church we would feel comfortable taking an openly gay friend to.
When we first started attending, the pastor of the church had only been there for a short time. He had just moved his family to from a more populated city to our town of 3,000 people. While Jerry and I often got frustrated with our hick-ish, small town, our pastor and his wife had a deep and sincere love for Maryville.<br />
<br />
The jobs we had while we were in Missouri often required us to work on Sundays, so typically we could only go to church once a month (twice if we were lucky). We never got a guilt trip from our pastor about how little we attended- they would just minister to us when we did see them.<br />
<br />
I remember talking to Jerry about how shocked I was after hearing a few sermons that dealt with issues like pacifism and some very relevant examples of loving our enemies. I couldn’t believe that I was hearing sermons like this in a small town in Missouri. And the best part was our pastor always presented a biblical, loving stance on the issues- reaching out to people on both sides of the issue.<br />
<br />
This is why this is the one church I would take an openly gay friend to. Other churches I have gone to have stated (from the pulpit) that homosexuals were trying to destroy the family, indoctrinate our kids and even went as far as telling their members how to vote (on issues like Prop 8). Statements like these ostracize homosexuals and quite frankly don’t make Christianity appealing (after all, who wants to be part of a group who distains them?). There is a way to present the truth in love, yet most churches don’t seem to do this.<br />
<br />
And this is why I appreciate this pastor so much- and why my heart has been so heavy the past few days.
I found out that someone reported him to the head of the denomination because of some comments he had made online about Christianity and homosexuality. Now the denomination is launching an investigation on this.<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span>The individual(s) did not follow the procedure lined out by Christ in Matthew 18, but rather reported him for the things he said. Here is the thing- nothing he said went against the Bible. He submitted to what the Bible said on this issue while encouraging others to love, respect and not participate in homophobia (a biblical stance as well).<br />
<br />
So, no matter what happens, I want to thank this pastor for showing love and truth, despite the consequences he might face. I want to thank him for creating a church environment that I could feel comfortable taking any friend, at any stage in life to- knowing that they would not feel judge or ostracized by other humans, but would instead be presented with the truth of the gospel in love. Thank you for all that you have done and continue to do Pastor Andrew- you have been such a blessing!
Emilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00842248700521917031noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5062763509873710642.post-64227844649694435592012-07-29T16:22:00.001-07:002012-07-30T01:09:35.429-07:00Seasons of LifeAbout a year ago I came to the realization that life is both short and long. Nothing new or profound I suppose, but it's struck me that my childhood felt like a lifetime ago & that I was already in my mid-twenties... a strange place to be. I believe each year is a gift & have wanted to spend some time reflecting on each year. I tried on twitter, but failed. So a I am attempting here, so that I can ponder each season of life & how each year has developed me into the person I am today. <br />
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Born in Panorama City, CA. I was the first born & lived in Burbank, CA. My father was a Youth Pastor & my mother worked at a grocery store. <br />
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Age 1- We lived next to my grandmother in a small rental home. Both of my grandmothers babysat me while my parents worked. My parents bought their first home- a small condo near West Hollywood. <br />
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Age 2- My sister Katie was born 2 months after I turned two. Six months after that, we moved to Maui, HI where my dad had accepted the role of Associate Pastor at a small church that meet in a golf barn. <br />
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Age 3- I was sick on my birthday. My grandmother flew to HI & made me a cat cake<br />
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Age 4- Unless prompted by photos, I don't remember much till here. I remember jumping out my van and running down to a playground where my 4th birthday was celebrated. I nearly lost my vision in my right eye when I ran past an open can & sliced right under my eye on Thanksgiving at our church. A doctor in training stitched my eye (can barely see a scar today). <br />
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Age 5- Started Kindergarten at King Kamehameha III Elementary School. Met my friend Trina for the first time in Mrs. Hamaoka's class. Our cafeteria caught on fire & we had to wait outside for 2 hours while firefighters put it out.<br />
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Age 6- Ms. Wong was my teacher. First & last time I got straight A's till college. Met my best friend Lindsay<br />
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Age 7- my sister Olivia was born. I was a Scottish girl for Halloween. Started hula & got my dog Callie. My first international trip (to Canada) & got the Chicken pox a few weeks before that. <br />
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Age 8- Was obsessed with 'Skip It'- a hula hoop game for your ankle. Started playing soccer but was often on the bench. I could often be found inventing things, going on an archeological dig or researching other cultures. <br />
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Age 9- Ran for ASB against one of my friends & lost (I was ok with it though). Joined AWANA & started the American Girl Club with my friends. <br />
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Age 10- Joined the school choir & did my first duet. My brother was born & I watched my two younger sisters in the hospital lobby until a family friend arrived (my first babysitting gig). <br />
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Age 11- Had my first crush. Participated in May Day as a Lady in Waiting in our Hawaiian Court at school. Went on my first camping trip. Went to California for my first youth conference. Went on my first trip to Mexico. <br />
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Age 12- My dad accepted a job in California & we moved back. Started at one school for two weeks, then transferred to another when we moved. Learned to influence people with humor.<br />
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Age 13- Had my birthday party at boomers with my new friends. Got 2nd chair flute in band. Tried out the trombone and drums that summer.<br />
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Age 14- Went on my first trip without my folks to Washington DC. Started High School that Fall & held hands with a boy for the first time. Went to my first concert (MXPX of course). Best friend came out for the summer. <br />
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Age 15- My first boyfriend & first kiss. I was continuing to learn sign language & got my learners permit.<br />
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Age 16- Broke my foot right before my drivers test (and had been walking on it for 3 weeks). Taught myself bass & guitar. My family got a cute dog named Nalani. <br />
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Age 17- My dad resigned from his job after some church politics & we were unsure of our future. He started a new church at a bar. I went to my first winter formal.<br />
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Age 18- Had a bonfire party with a friend to celebrate becoming an adult. Went to prom with my friends at the Grove in Anaheim. Started college at Vanguard University.<br />
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Age 19- Stayed out all night with friends going on all sorts of adventures. Formed a life long friendship with the Frambly. Joined ASB. Started dating the love if my life. Started working at Open Doors. <br />
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Age 20- Became an RA & got my first 4.0 in college. Took one of my favorite classes at VU. Tensions were growing between my family & I, as they did not approve of me dating Jer. Went on a trip to Colombia with Open Doors. <br />
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Age 21- Second year being an RA & was busy with that, debate, Open Doors & teaching guitar. I had been blacklisted for reporting a staff member who hadn't been living in accordance with the Community standards. <br />
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Age 22- Moved to Portland. Lived with 4 other girls & it was one of the years I grew the most. I worked a very tough & frustrating job. I got engaged & was busy planning a wedding. <br />
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Age 23- Married my best friend with almost all my family & friends there (sans my parents). It was difficult, but became easier with other family support. I moved with Jer to Missouri & began our adventure there.<br />
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Age 24- The year of traveling. Went to multiple cities in America (Chicago & New York) and spent 3 weeks backpacking Europe. We got our cute little Bunny- Barack OBunny. My parents began talking to me again.<br />
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Age 25- A tough year. Jer ended up in the ER for hyperthyroidism & we lost a lot of money to an error in the University's tax system. Jer couldnt find steady employment. Moved back to California & got an apartment in Anaheim. <br />
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Age 26- Still a little tough. A lot is still unknown, but I know God has something around the corner. Blessed by my husband, family & friends. More to come later... <br />
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It's been an amazing life so far. These are but mere snap shots of each year. There is so much more to reflect on in each year. Some years were easier, others more difficult, but all shaped me into the person I am today. I pray that God will lead me to a future where He can use my gifts to my full potential in serving Him. I am one blessed lady. Emilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00842248700521917031noreply@blogger.com1