I know, I know. I have not blogged in forever. I have not had anytime to breath this semester. But the this is one of the first things I am doing on my Thanksgiving break.

I also got to paint. Got me thinking about the times senior year at Vanguard when the girls and I would paint. I loved those times. It can be such a neat time to connect with God too. I want to play my guitar tomorrow for the same reason.

I am reading I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. Really good.

I am so excited for Christmas! The season starts in 2 days. And my childhood dream is being fulfilled, going to NY at Christmas time. God has blessed us with so much.

22 days til so cal! cant wait :)

Since its been awhile

I get to go to So Cal in 4 more days. I am flying out for a work conference, but I am super excited because I will be able to see a bunch of my friends and loved ones. I have been a little lame and have been texting everyone about how excited I am. The only part that could be better is if my sweet husband came along. He is still trying to devise a plan to convince my employer that it is needed for husbands to come too :)

We went to Chicago last week and saw U2. It is an amazing city and the concert was beyond amazing. It was better than I could have ever imagined. It is difficult to describe, but I would encourage everyone to experience a U2 concert if they can. While there we went to the Art Institute. We saw many original works of art, including the American Gothic. It was really inspiring. I really loved the modern art section.

I am starting to work on my book again, but I am going a new direction. I am really excited!

My friends who know me know that I get along with most people. I am a person who strives to find the good in everyone; it’s rare when I don’t. It’s not something I push myself towards, it’s just a natural reaction....I don’t know why. So when I encounter people who it is difficult to find qualities that I deem as good, I get really frustrated. I have had this happen a few times and it truly saddens me. God and I have had a few conversations about loving people as he does. I DO NOT deserve to be loved by God. I have sin that I emulate daily. Yet he still loves me. I want that same kind of love as He has. He is granting it to me. Granted discernment is a gift from Him as well, so I will remember that. But Love does not hold grudges/keep records of wrong. Love is wise but loves above all. Grant me that amazing love for everyone I pray Lord!

It always seems that my update on my spiritual walk is the longest... Probably because God has so much to work on :)

It is really fun to be back in school. I am enjoying life so much! I think I have discovered the best thing about marriage.....pillow talk. The best thing on earth is talking and snuggling before you fall asleep each night. I am so thankful for this and for my amazing husband. I also love our little escapes from the job....even if it is as simple as getting a coke at the DQ (name that movie). Life is Wonderful.

Hello Again

I have had a few realizations lately:

1. I am happy with where I am at. Last year at this time I was in Oregon. I liked my church and I liked where I was living, but one of my jobs was stressful, I had no car and the days seemed to move slowly. I was so happy when my work flew me down to So Cal for a meeting, because it was a much needed break. I moved to Oregon in July and they flew me down in September. That seemed like a very long amount of time. Today, a year later, I just booked my flight for the same annual meeting. I am excited to fly out and see everyone, but I am not counting down the days. I think it is because I am happy with where I am at. I am married and with Jerry every day. We have our own amazing place. I am about to start school. I love both of my jobs. I have awesome friends. Life is great and I can’t believe were already half way through August.

2. I think I am destined to be a cartoonist wherever I go. I love it

3. I am dealing with major culture shock. Here are a few things about Missouri:
a. Everyone smokes out here. Teenagers do it out in the open too. It’s crazy
b. I overheard a girl in Chipotle ordering a quesadilla and pronounced it including the ll’s. The lunch lady at the caf called enchiladas “enchiladies”.
c. I have had debates with people whether or not Missouri is the Midwest or the South. I have figured out the answer. The north is the Midwest. St. Louis and below would be considered the South. I can say that after going to both. The cultural difference is astronomical. They call it “Missora” in the south.
d. Things seem segregated here. People of particular races hang out with their same race. I have just noticed this on campus, so I can’t over generalize for all of Missouri but it is quite obvious here.

4. A lot of people are big here. I know this is a direct link to how much people eat here, because eating is a huge part of culture out here. People will get like 3 plates of food. I have had to make it a personal goal to only get a small plate of food in the caf and to work out hard core every day. Luckily I have a wonderful husband and good friends working out with me. I have been learning tennis and I like it a lot.

5. I have grown so much in one year. I don’t say this to brag, but to show how good God is. A year ago I don’t know if I would have been brave enough to follow my heart since the ones I loved were against it. I no longer feel guilt about this; I no longer feel anxiety about this. I now feel I am where I am supposed to be. God is good.

6. Jer and I have been playing guitar together lately. We want to sing and play guitar at a local java joint. I also want to get back into doing art again.

7. Church is different out here. Hokey is the best way to describe it. But I have learned a lot from a different atmosphere. My pastor brought up a good point about the church. First he showed us that the Lord’s Prayer does not have first person pronouns, it is inclusive to everyone. Our Father, Give us. Were in this together, our relationship with the Lord is not only personal but is meant to be a community relationship. Our pastor also brought up the point that our patience is developed by those who frustrate us, mercy by those who need it from us. What better place to develop this than the church? J It made me laugh but it was a good point and it was a good reminder that though this church is different from what I am used to, it is a great place for me to be at this junction in my walk.

8. Last but not least. I am blessed. I have amazing friends all over the world. Jer is amazing. We have been doing devotionals together and praying together every night. It is so neat to do this as husband and wife. I love where I am at. God is so good.

I'm Married

Jer pointed out that I have not blogged in awhile....prob because we have been on the run so much. Married life is amazing. It has been so fun to be in So Cal...but I cant wait to settle in our apartment and paint and decorate.

My nails are long. I need to trim them. It is a little difficult to type.

I am also excited for Donna band practice.

My boss and I were supposed to have a lunch appointment with another co-worker on Thursday but he remembered that was the day he fasted. He fasts every Thursday. I thought that was really neat/convicting. I cant remember the last time I fasted....I want to do that.

Speaking of Godlythings....Kyo and Jer are trying to get me to watch Old Boy....dont know if I will.....

32 more days

But who is counting?

I suck at blogging as of recently. I have been super busy with things (which I guess seems about right a few weeks before my wedding). But I love reading my friends blogs and knowing what is going on in their lives. I guess I will just have to wait till I get back in a normal schedule to be at my blogging best (that could be August).

I love the song Christmas TV by Slow Club. Jerry introduced it to me. It reminds me a lot of us and makes me miss him so much it hurts. But with my masochist tendencies, I have been listening to it on repeat.

Packing all this week. Weird....it is here. I will be in So Cal on Saturday. I know God will continue to take care of me financially, but I am still stressed to be honest. I also hope I keep up a normal exercise routine when I am down there. I know it is going to be crazy, but I want to be in shape for the wedding, you know? The frickin pill.

I'm seriously so over being hurt and hurting for the ones I love. God please bring healing and reconciliation. I can't handle this anymore. I am tired of the way I ache. You know how much I can handle.

meh

I haven't posted anything in awhile. I am neurotic and love number points, so here is what has been on my mind:

1. I had my last day of work. That job really helped me develop as a whole person. I learned a lot, especially what hard work is. I had to wake up early and take the bus to and fro for most of it. I have a whole new respect for the average blue collar worker now. Though I am still working for Open Doors part time, I barely have any money now. I have been stressed about finances. I have credit card, rent and loans to pay and hate being in debt. Jerry is really good at having the whole faith thing. I suck at it. Even though God has come through every single time, I still doubt....even when I know it will all be good in a couple months. Why? Lord help me to have faith that moves mountains, for I know that you care for me. Forgive me for doubting.

2. I have a little over 2 weeks left up here in Oregon. I will also go to Indianapolis in that time...which is super sweet. I am going for a work conference. I have been looking up cool things to do there. I love traveling. After that, I will head back down to So Cal. I am really looking forward to the few weeks I have down there before the wedding. I will be staying with relatives and friends. I am really looking forward to being with my sister though. I have missed her a lot. I am really looking forward to our adventures of old....dollar ice cream at rite aid, dollar theatre, borders. I can’t wait!!!! Anywho, this year has been phenomenal. God has taught me so much....really feels like it was a time of preparation....

3. Which leads me to my next point. This has felt like a prep time. God has plugged me into an amazing church, has allowed me time to study his word and form a biblically based worldview on subjects that we deal with in today's society. I have felt a calling on my life since I was young, a calling to do great things for the Lord. I don’t know what it looks like....but I don’t want to miss it. He has done a lot to prepare me and I am ready for whatever it is. I have talked with Cor and Jer about this and have had this confirmed. What is it though God? I am ready (I think)

4. I am a broken person. I am continually hurt by some very close people in my life. Every time that I think the wound has been healed, it is ripped open, stabbed multiple times and left with gore all over the place. I hate that it happens to me....but I hate even more that it happens to my sister. I wish things could be reconciled. I wish that the love that was once present could return. I wish that I wasn't treated as an outcast, as a horrible person. I wish that we could be together again. I wish these things and God knows the desires of my heart. He can do anything. I trust and believe in Him. I praise him for the support He has blessed me with, with relatives and close friends. He is good.

5. Next year will be amazing. Marrying an amazing man of God, my best friend. I get to fall asleep in his arms every night. I get to snuggle up with him on our couch, in our apartment to watch a movie. I get to work at an AMAZING job with him next year. The Lord is an amazing provider and has blessed me so.

Person of the Week-Week 15

Brian Burhenn

He is a dear friend and a cynical one too :) I am very thankful for Brian. If there is one word for Brian it is loyal....loyal to his friends, country, marines and the Republican party :) (I hope he reads this) Heres to you Brian!