Thursday, October 9, 2008

My First Blog

I was sitting on the bus the other day with Corri and a deaf family got on the bus. The little girl kept trying to say something to us, but we couldn't understand what she was saying. So I asked her mom via sign language if she knew what she was saying. Her mom got the biggest smile on her face, because I knew sign language. We only exchanged a few sentences before they got off the bus, but her mom was still smiling all the way off the bus. It made my day and made me realize how much I wanted to blog about it. I told Corri that I was going to start blogging again, so here I am.

I hope to make this blog as honest as possible. I think one of the biggest problems within our Christian Culture in America is that we are not completely honest about how we feel, or what we are struggling with. I look at the book of Psalms and think about how it would fit in today's society, and I think of it as King David's honest blog. He tells the reader and God when he feels deserted and pissed, along with the nitty gritty crap of his personal life. Since David was a man after God's own heart, I figure that I should follow after his example. Bring everything to the table.

Right now, I feel anxious, less so than this morning, but still anxious. I am having a difficult time deciphering God's voice from other voices and it is beyond frustrating. All I know is that my God is not a God of confusion; He won't say one thing and mean another. So, I know I should trust the conformation He has given me time and time again, but I doubt myself and my ability to hear what He is saying (not making up something that I want to hear). This stems from self doubt and doubt placed in my life by others. If you think of it, I'd appreciate your prayers :)

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