Monday, February 23, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
I think I have mentioned Curtis before, my bus driver. He is a very outspoken Christian (which I love). He told me today that he is shocked he hasn't been called into the office yet for his Christianity....being that he talks about it all the time. He told me he doesn't think it is good to force it upon people, but thinks its just as bad if we go our day without talking about our faith. I told him that I thought the joy that people saw from his life wasn’t forceful, rather they would associate that joy with Jesus and a seed would be planted. He gave a church card to a gal on the bus and yesterday we had a devotion with our friend Diana. The bus schedule is going to change soon which I am bummed about. One more week with Curtis. I think I have learned a lot this year, this is just one of the things I have learned.
I had coffee with a gal from my small group last night and kind of filled her in with my family situation and the wedding. I realized that I was no longer feeling guilty about things....God has really helped me overcome some false anxieties. She was very encouraging and brought up some very good points. I am thankful for the new work God continues to do in me and pray that I can please Him in all that I do....taking each of these lessons to heart.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Psalm 103 (New Living Translation)
A psalm of David.
1 Let all that I am praise the Lord; with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name. 2 Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me. 3 He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. 4 He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies. 5 He fills my life with good things. My youth is renewed like the eagle’s!
6 The Lord gives righteousness and justice to all who are treated unfairly.
7 He revealed his character to Moses and his deeds to the people of Israel. 8 The Lord is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. 9 He will not constantly accuse us, nor remain angry forever. 10 He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve. 11 For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. 12 He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. 13 The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. 14 For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust. 15 Our days on earth are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die. 16 The wind blows, and we are gone— as though we had never been here. 17 But the love of the Lord remains forever with those who fear him. His salvation extends to the children’s children 18 of those who are faithful to his covenant, of those who obey his commandments!
19 The Lord has made the heavens his throne; from there he rules over everything.
20 Praise the Lord, you angels, you mighty ones who carry out his plans, listening for each of his commands. 21 Yes, praise the Lord, you armies of angels who serve him and do his will! 22 Praise the Lord, everything he has created, everything in all his kingdom.
Let all that I am praise the Lord.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
I love her. She is always so encouraging and always has the most heartfelt things to say. She is truly a woman after God's own heart. She cares deeply for her friends as well as the rest of the world. She puts others before herself and is one of the best examples of Christ I know. Heres to you Heidi.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
I was recently reminded of this time in jr. high when my mom and I had just had an argument. It was right before one of my band recital and she was upset with me. She told me we would talk about it later, after the recital. Well it was the final part of the recital and we were about to start. I noticed that this kid I knew in a wheelchair needed assistance, so I helped him...hoping my mom would see. Now mind you that I probably would have helped anyways, but my main purpose was so that my mom could see what a compassionate person I was and not stay mad at me. It worked. We got home and she told me that she saw what I had done. "What?" I said, playing dumb. "Putting someone before yourself. You got a late start on that last song because you were helping someone else." We hugged and I didn’t have to worry about anymore arguments for that night.
I look back at that story with shame. It’s what psychologist call the "Good Girl/Good Boy syndrome"....kids doing good to get praise, not because they want to be good. I feel like that often occurs in my life. I sometimes do things because I think they will look good to God, not because I have a desire to be good.
So this verse.....I heard a sermon about this once. The emphasis was on the mind part. Striving to grow in an intellectual relationship with Him. I really liked that and it helped me to grow a lot. Now I sometimes feel like it’s too much of my mind. I feel like I am able to conceptualize aspects of God intellectually, but my heart behind it is not equal. I was doing things like in jr high again....in my mind I knew it was the right thing to do, but I was doing it for selfish reason, not from my heart.
God I want a renewed love of you. Not just mind, but with ALL my soul ,heart, strength and mind. Put a desire in me so strong to feel your presences in every aspect of my life. Forgive when I do things out of selfish ambition. Let everything be purely for you.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
This week's person of the week is dedicated to my sister. She is one of the funniest people I know. She always seems to know what I am feeling and is one of the only people who knows what I am thinking. She has a huge heart for her friends and is empathetic towards those who are hurting. She is there to let me vent whenever I need to. I love my sister more than words can describe. Heres to you Katie Barrett!!!
I am deathly ill right now. I spewed this morning....can't even hold down water. I have this horrible cough too; I believe the medical definition is "The Black Lung". But alas I am at work :)
This morning on the bus, Curtis (my bus driver) and Diana (my bff at the bus stop) were the only ones on the bus. They saw I was sick and Curtis recommended that they pray for healing for me :) So we did. It was so sweet.
On the plane home last night I was really sick and was sitting between a nice gay couple. They were making references to that twilight zone where the gremlin was on the wing and offering me tissues.
I miss Jerry more than words can describe. I am heartsick for him. I know its only 4 more months, but I don’t know if I can do it.