Friday, February 6, 2009

Luke 10:27

And he answered, "YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND; AND YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF."

I was recently reminded of this time in jr. high when my mom and I had just had an argument. It was right before one of my band recital and she was upset with me. She told me we would talk about it later, after the recital. Well it was the final part of the recital and we were about to start. I noticed that this kid I knew in a wheelchair needed assistance, so I helped him...hoping my mom would see. Now mind you that I probably would have helped anyways, but my main purpose was so that my mom could see what a compassionate person I was and not stay mad at me. It worked. We got home and she told me that she saw what I had done. "What?" I said, playing dumb. "Putting someone before yourself. You got a late start on that last song because you were helping someone else." We hugged and I didn’t have to worry about anymore arguments for that night.

I look back at that story with shame. It’s what psychologist call the "Good Girl/Good Boy syndrome"....kids doing good to get praise, not because they want to be good. I feel like that often occurs in my life. I sometimes do things because I think they will look good to God, not because I have a desire to be good.

So this verse.....I heard a sermon about this once. The emphasis was on the mind part. Striving to grow in an intellectual relationship with Him. I really liked that and it helped me to grow a lot. Now I sometimes feel like it’s too much of my mind. I feel like I am able to conceptualize aspects of God intellectually, but my heart behind it is not equal. I was doing things like in jr high again....in my mind I knew it was the right thing to do, but I was doing it for selfish reason, not from my heart.

God I want a renewed love of you. Not just mind, but with ALL my soul ,heart, strength and mind. Put a desire in me so strong to feel your presences in every aspect of my life. Forgive when I do things out of selfish ambition. Let everything be purely for you.

4 comments:

The Future Mr. and Mrs said...

thought provoking

Rachel said...

Thanks for telling that story, Em. So good, so true. Especially the playing dumb part...haha! Thanks for being honest and candid. It's much appreciated from a fellow sinner.

It's weird- growing up in a Christian home, you hear these verses all the time and sometimes the true meaning doesn't sink in. They're just routine. God's love, sacrifice, grace, mercy, and honor should never be routine.

Thanks for posting! Inspirational, as always.

Love!

.heidi.noelle. said...

Your writing is a thoughtful reminder...

ChristineTheBean said...

This is so absolutely true. It's something I hadn't really thought about until I read this post. Thank you for helping me see my own sin of self-glorification. Know that you are not alone.

With love in Christ,
Christine