I got sick this week and I think it caused me to realize how close to burning out I am.
This week a co-worker began to show signs of being burned out. Good changes have been happening at work, but I think we still have to be careful as things continue to improve... We have been going full speed for a long time, and we need to give all the burdens associated with it to God.
It's tough to give our burdens to Him. It's tough to give our uncertainties about the future to Him. It's tough to give our pain to Him.
But when we do, He will give us rest- the rest we so desperately need.
As I'm resting and trying to get better, I'm overwhelmed by His peace that passes all understanding.
He reminds me of His faithfulness through a friend who called just to pray with me.
He reminds me of His faithfulness through my boss who cares more about me than the work I produce.
He reminds me of His faithfulness through my sweet husband who takes such good care of me and has put me first, sacrificing so much.
I guess I didn't fully realize what it meant until I was married, but two really do become one. Wanting my husband to find steady work is not just so we will be financially stable, but because I know how fulfilled he is when he works in the field that he is passionate about. It's probably my biggest burden I carry and I need to give it to God yet again. He has shown His faithfulness so often, I need to trust Him and find rest in Him.
Easier said than done. Help me Lord.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Saturday, September 22, 2012
The Next Step of Faith
It's an interesting season of life right now...
The long delay of two more days,
Seems like an eternity,
The fear that nothing will change,
A depression that nags at me constantly.
But You have brought us this far,
Your guidance has been clear,
So why do I continue to lack faith,
And struggle with this fear?
Thank you for providing,
Thank you for making certain things known,
Draw me closer to your side,
For with You we are not alone.
It's been a humbling past two months, with God not only making His voice clear on certain things, but also showing us why He had us do things a certain way. Let me trust You in this next stage Lord, no matter what the outcome is. Thank you for how You are refining us daily. Please continue to work in us, to be more like You. Amen.
The long delay of two more days,
Seems like an eternity,
The fear that nothing will change,
A depression that nags at me constantly.
But You have brought us this far,
Your guidance has been clear,
So why do I continue to lack faith,
And struggle with this fear?
Thank you for providing,
Thank you for making certain things known,
Draw me closer to your side,
For with You we are not alone.
It's been a humbling past two months, with God not only making His voice clear on certain things, but also showing us why He had us do things a certain way. Let me trust You in this next stage Lord, no matter what the outcome is. Thank you for how You are refining us daily. Please continue to work in us, to be more like You. Amen.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
The Only Church I Could...
A few weeks ago when the whole Chick-fil-a controversy was in full bloom, I asked my husband a question:
“Have you ever attended a church that you would feel comfortable taking an openly gay friend to?”
We both thought about it for a minute. He said that he thought some of the people of the church he attended as a teenager would probably be welcoming, but wasn’t sure about the church in general. Initially, I couldn’t think of one either. But after going through a mental list of all the churches I had attended in my life, I thought of one- Community of Faith Church.
Community of Faith Church was the small church we attended while we lived in rural Maryville, Missouri. It was a typical picturesque, Midwest, country church… the kind that still had church potlucks and had just a few lines of pews.
Based on this description, I am sure that it is hard to believe that this is the church we would feel comfortable taking an openly gay friend to. When we first started attending, the pastor of the church had only been there for a short time. He had just moved his family to from a more populated city to our town of 3,000 people. While Jerry and I often got frustrated with our hick-ish, small town, our pastor and his wife had a deep and sincere love for Maryville.
The jobs we had while we were in Missouri often required us to work on Sundays, so typically we could only go to church once a month (twice if we were lucky). We never got a guilt trip from our pastor about how little we attended- they would just minister to us when we did see them.
I remember talking to Jerry about how shocked I was after hearing a few sermons that dealt with issues like pacifism and some very relevant examples of loving our enemies. I couldn’t believe that I was hearing sermons like this in a small town in Missouri. And the best part was our pastor always presented a biblical, loving stance on the issues- reaching out to people on both sides of the issue.
This is why this is the one church I would take an openly gay friend to. Other churches I have gone to have stated (from the pulpit) that homosexuals were trying to destroy the family, indoctrinate our kids and even went as far as telling their members how to vote (on issues like Prop 8). Statements like these ostracize homosexuals and quite frankly don’t make Christianity appealing (after all, who wants to be part of a group who distains them?). There is a way to present the truth in love, yet most churches don’t seem to do this.
And this is why I appreciate this pastor so much- and why my heart has been so heavy the past few days. I found out that someone reported him to the head of the denomination because of some comments he had made online about Christianity and homosexuality. Now the denomination is launching an investigation on this.The individual(s) did not follow the procedure lined out by Christ in Matthew 18, but rather reported him for the things he said. Here is the thing- nothing he said went against the Bible. He submitted to what the Bible said on this issue while encouraging others to love, respect and not participate in homophobia (a biblical stance as well).
So, no matter what happens, I want to thank this pastor for showing love and truth, despite the consequences he might face. I want to thank him for creating a church environment that I could feel comfortable taking any friend, at any stage in life to- knowing that they would not feel judge or ostracized by other humans, but would instead be presented with the truth of the gospel in love. Thank you for all that you have done and continue to do Pastor Andrew- you have been such a blessing!
“Have you ever attended a church that you would feel comfortable taking an openly gay friend to?”
We both thought about it for a minute. He said that he thought some of the people of the church he attended as a teenager would probably be welcoming, but wasn’t sure about the church in general. Initially, I couldn’t think of one either. But after going through a mental list of all the churches I had attended in my life, I thought of one- Community of Faith Church.
Community of Faith Church was the small church we attended while we lived in rural Maryville, Missouri. It was a typical picturesque, Midwest, country church… the kind that still had church potlucks and had just a few lines of pews.
Based on this description, I am sure that it is hard to believe that this is the church we would feel comfortable taking an openly gay friend to. When we first started attending, the pastor of the church had only been there for a short time. He had just moved his family to from a more populated city to our town of 3,000 people. While Jerry and I often got frustrated with our hick-ish, small town, our pastor and his wife had a deep and sincere love for Maryville.
The jobs we had while we were in Missouri often required us to work on Sundays, so typically we could only go to church once a month (twice if we were lucky). We never got a guilt trip from our pastor about how little we attended- they would just minister to us when we did see them.
I remember talking to Jerry about how shocked I was after hearing a few sermons that dealt with issues like pacifism and some very relevant examples of loving our enemies. I couldn’t believe that I was hearing sermons like this in a small town in Missouri. And the best part was our pastor always presented a biblical, loving stance on the issues- reaching out to people on both sides of the issue.
This is why this is the one church I would take an openly gay friend to. Other churches I have gone to have stated (from the pulpit) that homosexuals were trying to destroy the family, indoctrinate our kids and even went as far as telling their members how to vote (on issues like Prop 8). Statements like these ostracize homosexuals and quite frankly don’t make Christianity appealing (after all, who wants to be part of a group who distains them?). There is a way to present the truth in love, yet most churches don’t seem to do this.
And this is why I appreciate this pastor so much- and why my heart has been so heavy the past few days. I found out that someone reported him to the head of the denomination because of some comments he had made online about Christianity and homosexuality. Now the denomination is launching an investigation on this.The individual(s) did not follow the procedure lined out by Christ in Matthew 18, but rather reported him for the things he said. Here is the thing- nothing he said went against the Bible. He submitted to what the Bible said on this issue while encouraging others to love, respect and not participate in homophobia (a biblical stance as well).
So, no matter what happens, I want to thank this pastor for showing love and truth, despite the consequences he might face. I want to thank him for creating a church environment that I could feel comfortable taking any friend, at any stage in life to- knowing that they would not feel judge or ostracized by other humans, but would instead be presented with the truth of the gospel in love. Thank you for all that you have done and continue to do Pastor Andrew- you have been such a blessing!
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Seasons of Life
About a year ago I came to the realization that life is both short and long. Nothing new or profound I suppose, but it's struck me that my childhood felt like a lifetime ago & that I was already in my mid-twenties... a strange place to be. I believe each year is a gift & have wanted to spend some time reflecting on each year. I tried on twitter, but failed. So a I am attempting here, so that I can ponder each season of life & how each year has developed me into the person I am today.
Born in Panorama City, CA. I was the first born & lived in Burbank, CA. My father was a Youth Pastor & my mother worked at a grocery store.
Age 1- We lived next to my grandmother in a small rental home. Both of my grandmothers babysat me while my parents worked. My parents bought their first home- a small condo near West Hollywood.
Age 2- My sister Katie was born 2 months after I turned two. Six months after that, we moved to Maui, HI where my dad had accepted the role of Associate Pastor at a small church that meet in a golf barn.
Age 3- I was sick on my birthday. My grandmother flew to HI & made me a cat cake
Age 4- Unless prompted by photos, I don't remember much till here. I remember jumping out my van and running down to a playground where my 4th birthday was celebrated. I nearly lost my vision in my right eye when I ran past an open can & sliced right under my eye on Thanksgiving at our church. A doctor in training stitched my eye (can barely see a scar today).
Age 5- Started Kindergarten at King Kamehameha III Elementary School. Met my friend Trina for the first time in Mrs. Hamaoka's class. Our cafeteria caught on fire & we had to wait outside for 2 hours while firefighters put it out.
Age 6- Ms. Wong was my teacher. First & last time I got straight A's till college. Met my best friend Lindsay
Age 7- my sister Olivia was born. I was a Scottish girl for Halloween. Started hula & got my dog Callie. My first international trip (to Canada) & got the Chicken pox a few weeks before that.
Age 8- Was obsessed with 'Skip It'- a hula hoop game for your ankle. Started playing soccer but was often on the bench. I could often be found inventing things, going on an archeological dig or researching other cultures.
Age 9- Ran for ASB against one of my friends & lost (I was ok with it though). Joined AWANA & started the American Girl Club with my friends.
Age 10- Joined the school choir & did my first duet. My brother was born & I watched my two younger sisters in the hospital lobby until a family friend arrived (my first babysitting gig).
Age 11- Had my first crush. Participated in May Day as a Lady in Waiting in our Hawaiian Court at school. Went on my first camping trip. Went to California for my first youth conference. Went on my first trip to Mexico.
Age 12- My dad accepted a job in California & we moved back. Started at one school for two weeks, then transferred to another when we moved. Learned to influence people with humor.
Age 13- Had my birthday party at boomers with my new friends. Got 2nd chair flute in band. Tried out the trombone and drums that summer.
Age 14- Went on my first trip without my folks to Washington DC. Started High School that Fall & held hands with a boy for the first time. Went to my first concert (MXPX of course). Best friend came out for the summer.
Age 15- My first boyfriend & first kiss. I was continuing to learn sign language & got my learners permit.
Age 16- Broke my foot right before my drivers test (and had been walking on it for 3 weeks). Taught myself bass & guitar. My family got a cute dog named Nalani.
Age 17- My dad resigned from his job after some church politics & we were unsure of our future. He started a new church at a bar. I went to my first winter formal.
Age 18- Had a bonfire party with a friend to celebrate becoming an adult. Went to prom with my friends at the Grove in Anaheim. Started college at Vanguard University.
Age 19- Stayed out all night with friends going on all sorts of adventures. Formed a life long friendship with the Frambly. Joined ASB. Started dating the love if my life. Started working at Open Doors.
Age 20- Became an RA & got my first 4.0 in college. Took one of my favorite classes at VU. Tensions were growing between my family & I, as they did not approve of me dating Jer. Went on a trip to Colombia with Open Doors.
Age 21- Second year being an RA & was busy with that, debate, Open Doors & teaching guitar. I had been blacklisted for reporting a staff member who hadn't been living in accordance with the Community standards.
Age 22- Moved to Portland. Lived with 4 other girls & it was one of the years I grew the most. I worked a very tough & frustrating job. I got engaged & was busy planning a wedding.
Age 23- Married my best friend with almost all my family & friends there (sans my parents). It was difficult, but became easier with other family support. I moved with Jer to Missouri & began our adventure there.
Age 24- The year of traveling. Went to multiple cities in America (Chicago & New York) and spent 3 weeks backpacking Europe. We got our cute little Bunny- Barack OBunny. My parents began talking to me again.
Age 25- A tough year. Jer ended up in the ER for hyperthyroidism & we lost a lot of money to an error in the University's tax system. Jer couldnt find steady employment. Moved back to California & got an apartment in Anaheim.
Age 26- Still a little tough. A lot is still unknown, but I know God has something around the corner. Blessed by my husband, family & friends. More to come later...
It's been an amazing life so far. These are but mere snap shots of each year. There is so much more to reflect on in each year. Some years were easier, others more difficult, but all shaped me into the person I am today. I pray that God will lead me to a future where He can use my gifts to my full potential in serving Him. I am one blessed lady.
Born in Panorama City, CA. I was the first born & lived in Burbank, CA. My father was a Youth Pastor & my mother worked at a grocery store.
Age 1- We lived next to my grandmother in a small rental home. Both of my grandmothers babysat me while my parents worked. My parents bought their first home- a small condo near West Hollywood.
Age 2- My sister Katie was born 2 months after I turned two. Six months after that, we moved to Maui, HI where my dad had accepted the role of Associate Pastor at a small church that meet in a golf barn.
Age 3- I was sick on my birthday. My grandmother flew to HI & made me a cat cake
Age 4- Unless prompted by photos, I don't remember much till here. I remember jumping out my van and running down to a playground where my 4th birthday was celebrated. I nearly lost my vision in my right eye when I ran past an open can & sliced right under my eye on Thanksgiving at our church. A doctor in training stitched my eye (can barely see a scar today).
Age 5- Started Kindergarten at King Kamehameha III Elementary School. Met my friend Trina for the first time in Mrs. Hamaoka's class. Our cafeteria caught on fire & we had to wait outside for 2 hours while firefighters put it out.
Age 6- Ms. Wong was my teacher. First & last time I got straight A's till college. Met my best friend Lindsay
Age 7- my sister Olivia was born. I was a Scottish girl for Halloween. Started hula & got my dog Callie. My first international trip (to Canada) & got the Chicken pox a few weeks before that.
Age 8- Was obsessed with 'Skip It'- a hula hoop game for your ankle. Started playing soccer but was often on the bench. I could often be found inventing things, going on an archeological dig or researching other cultures.
Age 9- Ran for ASB against one of my friends & lost (I was ok with it though). Joined AWANA & started the American Girl Club with my friends.
Age 10- Joined the school choir & did my first duet. My brother was born & I watched my two younger sisters in the hospital lobby until a family friend arrived (my first babysitting gig).
Age 11- Had my first crush. Participated in May Day as a Lady in Waiting in our Hawaiian Court at school. Went on my first camping trip. Went to California for my first youth conference. Went on my first trip to Mexico.
Age 12- My dad accepted a job in California & we moved back. Started at one school for two weeks, then transferred to another when we moved. Learned to influence people with humor.
Age 13- Had my birthday party at boomers with my new friends. Got 2nd chair flute in band. Tried out the trombone and drums that summer.
Age 14- Went on my first trip without my folks to Washington DC. Started High School that Fall & held hands with a boy for the first time. Went to my first concert (MXPX of course). Best friend came out for the summer.
Age 15- My first boyfriend & first kiss. I was continuing to learn sign language & got my learners permit.
Age 16- Broke my foot right before my drivers test (and had been walking on it for 3 weeks). Taught myself bass & guitar. My family got a cute dog named Nalani.
Age 17- My dad resigned from his job after some church politics & we were unsure of our future. He started a new church at a bar. I went to my first winter formal.
Age 18- Had a bonfire party with a friend to celebrate becoming an adult. Went to prom with my friends at the Grove in Anaheim. Started college at Vanguard University.
Age 19- Stayed out all night with friends going on all sorts of adventures. Formed a life long friendship with the Frambly. Joined ASB. Started dating the love if my life. Started working at Open Doors.
Age 20- Became an RA & got my first 4.0 in college. Took one of my favorite classes at VU. Tensions were growing between my family & I, as they did not approve of me dating Jer. Went on a trip to Colombia with Open Doors.
Age 21- Second year being an RA & was busy with that, debate, Open Doors & teaching guitar. I had been blacklisted for reporting a staff member who hadn't been living in accordance with the Community standards.
Age 22- Moved to Portland. Lived with 4 other girls & it was one of the years I grew the most. I worked a very tough & frustrating job. I got engaged & was busy planning a wedding.
Age 23- Married my best friend with almost all my family & friends there (sans my parents). It was difficult, but became easier with other family support. I moved with Jer to Missouri & began our adventure there.
Age 24- The year of traveling. Went to multiple cities in America (Chicago & New York) and spent 3 weeks backpacking Europe. We got our cute little Bunny- Barack OBunny. My parents began talking to me again.
Age 25- A tough year. Jer ended up in the ER for hyperthyroidism & we lost a lot of money to an error in the University's tax system. Jer couldnt find steady employment. Moved back to California & got an apartment in Anaheim.
Age 26- Still a little tough. A lot is still unknown, but I know God has something around the corner. Blessed by my husband, family & friends. More to come later...
It's been an amazing life so far. These are but mere snap shots of each year. There is so much more to reflect on in each year. Some years were easier, others more difficult, but all shaped me into the person I am today. I pray that God will lead me to a future where He can use my gifts to my full potential in serving Him. I am one blessed lady.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Creativity
Recently, I have realized how much I crave creativity- in both myself and others.
I'm happiest when I create. Perhaps this is part of Imago Dei. Whether a design project at work, sketching on a piece of paper or creating music, I feel at peace.
I strive to surround myself with creative people. I thrive off of the influence of their unique creative ideals.
Will my creative works be part of my life's work? Or will it just be something I enjoy? I do not know- but I love this journey we call life. It is always interesting to learn more about how God has created me.
I'm happiest when I create. Perhaps this is part of Imago Dei. Whether a design project at work, sketching on a piece of paper or creating music, I feel at peace.
I strive to surround myself with creative people. I thrive off of the influence of their unique creative ideals.
Will my creative works be part of my life's work? Or will it just be something I enjoy? I do not know- but I love this journey we call life. It is always interesting to learn more about how God has created me.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Wow
Well that was a huge, unexpected turn-around. Not to say anything will happen for sure, but this week has been a wonderful reminder of God's faithfulness.
Additionally, I feel like God has taught me the lesson of continuing to knock on doors. Keep trying new doors and see what lies ahead. What a great reminder! Thank you Lord!
Lord- keep refining us and use us according to your perfect will. We love you Father. Help us honor you in all that we do. Amen!
Additionally, I feel like God has taught me the lesson of continuing to knock on doors. Keep trying new doors and see what lies ahead. What a great reminder! Thank you Lord!
Lord- keep refining us and use us according to your perfect will. We love you Father. Help us honor you in all that we do. Amen!
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Ever Only Hear Part of the Answer from God?
Thats where I am right now. It's tough- not sure how to proceed except with more prayer. Lord please grant me your wisdom & guide me.
It has officially been a year since we have been back. Though this year has been full of trials, I am so thankful for it. It has been such a blessing to be around family and friends again. I love our apartment as much as the day we moved in and going to Disneyland on an almost a nightly basis has been amazing! Baseball games & get togethers with friends- it was what we dreamed of a year ago. Despite the struggles I am thankful for where I am now and how God provides.
Additionally I am so glad we did Europe when we did- no way we could afford it now. I am so thankful we had that opportunity :)
So whatever is next, I am excited because the now has been pretty sweet! I know He will show us when the time is right
It has officially been a year since we have been back. Though this year has been full of trials, I am so thankful for it. It has been such a blessing to be around family and friends again. I love our apartment as much as the day we moved in and going to Disneyland on an almost a nightly basis has been amazing! Baseball games & get togethers with friends- it was what we dreamed of a year ago. Despite the struggles I am thankful for where I am now and how God provides.
Additionally I am so glad we did Europe when we did- no way we could afford it now. I am so thankful we had that opportunity :)
So whatever is next, I am excited because the now has been pretty sweet! I know He will show us when the time is right
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