A Sign

A couple weeks ago I was speaking to someone at my work. She was a Persian Christian who had received amnesty in the United States. She told me about her conversion to Christianity from Islam:

When she was 14 she felt an emptiness that would not pass. She had a wonderful family that was well off, so she did not know why. Finally she prayed to God and said "I feel so empty- give me a sign." Over the next six months Jesus appeared to her in her sleep. He told her stories from the Bible, stories she had never heard before as she had never even seen a Bible. After six months she felt lead to go downtown to a Christian church. She was handed a Bible- as she read it, she was amazed. These were the stories from her dreams. She gave her life to Christ that day.

I was amazed by her testimony- how God had so directly answered her plea when she asked for a sign. Later that day, I went to Bible study and we read out of Isaiah about King Ahaz. Two countries were swarming in on Israel. He didn’t know what to do, so he was going to essentially give up. God used Isaiah to tell him to ask for a sign. He did not and used the excuse 'I do not want to tempt the Lord.' God was angry that he did not ask for a sign. We looked at this passage in juxtaposition with one in the New Testament...when Christ's followers asked for a sign and He was angry because he had just preformed a whole bunch of miracles. This was testing God.

We concluded the difference was that it is not testing God if you ask for a sign when He has not shown you yet...as a matter of fact He encourages it. It is testing God if you keep asking for a sign when He has already shown you the direction.

So now Jer and I needed to apply this to our own lives. We prayed- God show us a sign. Should we remain where we are even though we are not 100% sure Jer will have his job back? We want to be responsible with our finance but don’t want to move too soon. You know it’s my desire to not have to move.

After two days of crying out to God for a sign, Jer got a call from his work. They said they would start work again on Jan 13th. Its a little hard for me to trust them, but it is the first time in weeks they have contacted Jer....right after we prayed. So, we will remain where we are...continuing to pray that God would direct us. We will reevaluate where we are on Jan 31st (praying that Jer does have a job then). I am a lot more at peace about it all now. Thank you Lord for teaching me this important lesson

Our Church

I really love our new church- it's diverse, not uber political and most importantly it is very bibically based. The pastor is going through some of the more contriversial subjects in the bible and is handling it all in a bibical, balanced and practical way. Its really refreshing- what Jer and I have been wanting for awhile. Were looking to get involved with a mentoring ministry, apartment ministry and a small group. Cant wait to see what God does. I am so thankful He brought us to Anaheim. I love our church, community and new home (I am still amazed that God gave us such a great place).

In all of His faithfulness, I know He cares for us. He has taken care of us and will continue to- with a job for Jer, our finaces and in our walk with Him. Thank you Lord

Like David

So David complained a bit in the Psalms... here is my honesty moment:

I would love for Jer to have a stable job. I would love to have enough money to not worry about paying for our bills and groceries. I would like to have enough to take our bunny to the vet for his medical needs. I wish that we wouldn't keep getting screwed financially- that we wouldnt have to worry about paying for an unfair ticket. Every time I think things are getting better, I feel like we get hit again.

But then I remember all the ways that God has provided... all of our blessings. He is faithful, even in the difficult times. I am so thankful for that. I know things could be worse and I thank the Lord for sparing us from that.

I just dont know how many more trials I can take Lord. It would be so nice not to keep getting hit so hard financially.

There is my honesty moment. I trust you and pray that You would hear my prayer...Amen.

Always Pro-Life?

When I was in high school, I had a shirt that said "Abortion is Homicide". What a statement I made! Years later, I realized that this particular shirt may have been worn with the purist of intentions, but it did not reflect God's love.

The controversial law in Mississippi, which was not upheld this week, got me thinking a lot about the issue of being pro-life.

The way that this law was presented was that the issue of abortion was black and white. Growing up in the church, I had heard the same thing- abortion was a matter of life or death, murdering or not murdering, black and white. Essentially, this law suggested that abortion was always wrong and that life began at conception (again the same thing I had heard from the majority of the Christian community).
However, this law did not pass...in Mississippi, arguably one of the most conservative states. Why was this?

The Economist had a really funny letter to the editor last week on the issue:

SIR – I was delighted to read your article about the effort in Mississippi to pass a state constitutional amendment to recognize embryos as people from the moment of fertilization (“A person already?”, October 8th). My wife and I have been considering IVF to address our lack of success in conceiving a child. Mississippi’s proposed amendment gives us even more reason to pursue this treatment, and to move to Mississippi.

After the procedure we will insist on taking custody of any extra embryos that result from IVF—it is our right as parents after all. Once safely in our home we plan to keep them in a freezer in our basement and list them as child dependents for tax purposes, thus giving us a tax deduction. To protect the lives of our children in case of a power outage we will buy a backup generator. Anything less would be bad parenting.

I had a good laugh, noting that by technicalities (stating that personhood began at conception) this person could have actually done this if the law had passed.

I read another story about a Christian family in Mississippi who had a child through in vitro. Now with in vitro, doctors get rid of embryos that they know will not work. By that law, the family could not have another child through in vitro, because it would be ending the life of an embryo (even if it was a "bad" embryo). It was suggested that this is why a substantial amount of Christian-Right members did not vote for this law, even though they were pro-life....it hit home. Almost everyone knows someone who has tried in vitro in the Christian community.

Perhaps abortion is not a black and white issue. Perhaps pro-lifers will be abandoning the term "life begins at conception" because this law proved it is a little more complex than that.

So now we live in a world where this law was tried and failed. The Christian community recognizes that this affects some of their own members. But will the Christians community recognize that it is not black and white for people outside of the Christian community? It is not a black and white issue for an 11 year old child who became pregnant after being raped. It is not black and white for a couple who is told the mother and possibly the child will die if she carries the baby to term. It is not black and white for the woman who takes the morning after pill after a condom breaks.

Now hear me out- I am not saying that abortion is right (or wrong) in any of these cases. I just think as Christians that we need to recognize that it is not a black and white issue. We need to love those in our own community and those outside of our community who are faced with these difficult choices. We need to ask God for His wisdom. But more than anything, we need to be much more loving when it comes to this subject.

Lord give us Your wisdom, guidance and love when it comes to this matter. Amen.

Trusting God in All Seasons

We were hit with some tough news this week. Now it is our choice- if we are going to trust in God or if we are going to let fear dictate. Lord, let our path be directed by You, let us go to You in prayer always.

A sweet friend sent me a note the other day (in the spirit of Thanksgiving) listing off the reasons she was thankful for me. It really made my day and encouraged me in the gifts God has given me. It served as a reminder of those gifts and to pray about how I can use them more for His glory.

This same friend told us about an opportunity that totally fits in Jerry and my heart for ministry. We need to learn more and pray more, but I am really excited about this.

Tried a new church that we love. I share many similar convictions and love the way the pastor treated God's word with reverence, truth, completion and practicality. It was awesome.

So Lord- I end this with a simple request: Have me pray more. I want to be in constant communication with you. I want our steps to be guided by you. I want to serve You. Help me do this. Amen

Hey Peterman!

Jerry and I have noted that we both feel as if almost all stress has been removed from our lives. It’s like Peter from Office Space, post hypnosis. We have our own place, are more secure financially and do not have an awful commute anymore! I think I was clinging onto weight due to stress because as soon as we moved in I have already lost a few pounds without really changing my routine.

I am so blessed by my job. Though it can be hectic at times, I realize that I have so much fulfillment from this job-it’s a great ministry, I have a great boss and co-workers, I enjoy using my gifts and talents and I wake up excited to go to work. Thank you Lord for blessing us with this apartment, work and so many other things- we are so thankful!

Yesterday we held a memorial service for my great-grandmother. She was 95 years old. Longevity definitely runs in my family and she was blessed with a wonderful life. She was one of the sweetest and funniest people I have ever known and I will miss her very much. Times like these often make those surrounding think of their own mortality. Life is interesting- it seems so short, yet we are blessed with so many memories and chapters. I would love to take some time to reflect on all that has happened in my life- maybe jot it down. Then I think on my birthday each year I will reflect on that year- I imagine it will be interesting to see all that has happened. Life is such a gift. I am so thankful that God gave me an amazing partner in crime to go through life with.

Jer has gained 20 lbs and I am so thankful. I am beginning to see all the signs of his hyperthyroidism diminish. We are so blessed to live in a day and age where he can take medicine and see these kind of results. I am so glad to have my husby back!

What a Year!

It has been crazy lately, and as a result I have not been diligent about blogging. Hopefully I will be able to blog consistently again in the near future.

We have had our fair share of trials and tribulations this year. It started with our former employers changing our status on our W2 without our knowledge. As a result, we owed $3K in tax returns (there went our entire savings for the move). Then we hit a deer (actually he ran into us), a $2K expense. We were told we owed a $500 bill that I had been assured three different times we did not owe. My husband landed in the hospital with a Thyroid crisis (another hefty bill) and our car was broken into (with many expensive items in my wallet stolen).

So we ended up being a great deal poorer than expected and a lot more stressed out. It was frustrating because we planned ahead financially, but still ended up in this situation.

Looking back on it, I note it as a time where God was working on my faith in Him. See, when planning ahead financially, I was in control. I had to lose that control to fully trust God with our lives. And you know what? He came through every single month. When I didn’t think that we would have enough money for groceries, Jerry’s parents randomly gave us a gift card for Stater Bros. When I didn’t think we would have enough money to pay for the unexpected bill, we were given a love gift for the amount.

It’s the trials and tribulations that strengthen our faith. God blessed us with the opportunity to rent a place in Anaheim. My human side worries that another major trial is going to happen and we won’t have enough money. But then I am reminded of what the Lord has taught me in this year and I realize that even if that does happen, He is in control. Lord, help me to remember the amazing lesson that you have taught me. Thank you for taking care of your children. Amen.

Camping

It is amazing how God always takes care of us. Just when it feels like we won’t have enough to make it, He provides in an amazing way. Lord, help me to continue to put my trust in you.

Our pool is out of commission. I am doing aerobics in the meantime, but I am hoping that the pool will be fixed soon, as I am not seeing the same weight loss results as I do with swimming (probably because it is the highest caloric burning workout).

Jer has an interview on Friday. If you have a moment, would you pray for him? This would be an amazing opportunity for us. We would be so thankful for this.

Random thought- Do you think that the Garden of Eden was destroyed by the flood? It was something that Jer and I had talked about.

We are going camping on Saturday...I can't wait :)

I have been sucking at doing devotions. I think I am going to try to do them during lunch. We’ll see how it goes. It is sad that I need a schedule, but as an adult I see that my days disappear before my eyes. Lord, please help me to be able to do this. I love spending time with you. You are my all and I want to show that to you by spending time with you. Amen.

Curses

Yesterday in Church the pastor talked about blessings and curses. I was not a huge fan of the way the pastor was teaching (he was a guest pastor), so in the middle of the sermon I prayed that God would humble my heart to be able to hear what He needed me to hear.

One thing that did stand out to me was the sins of a family. These are sins that you may not necessarily have, but that may come up because of your family. Jerry and I talked about these and the need to pray about them.

If you think about it, we would appreciate prayer for Jer to find a job too. Thanks!

Flowers for Algernon

A few years back I read a book entitled Flowers for Algernon. It is the tale of a mentally disabled young man who agrees to be apart of science experiment that could potentailly make him "smart" (in his words). SPOILER ALERT! Through this process he becomes one of the smartest men in the world. However, after only a few months into this new life, his mind begins to slowly deteriorate to it's original state.

I kind of feel like this is happening in one part of my life. For so long hope was gone, then through a quick series of events, I encountered an amazing climatic state of bliss, joy and contentment. However, it feels as if things could return to the way they once were- following the steps of Algernon. Everything in me wants to believe there is still hope for this sinking ship, but I still feel despair.

Perhaps it will have the same fate as Algernon, perhaps there is still more to be written. Only God knows- so I wait on Him and seek Him. Lord, please guide me through this. I feel hopeless- I once had joy about this situation, but I feel as if that joy has gone away. I want to trust in You through this. Amen.

On a seperate note,I am trying to give Lord of the Rings a shot. No offense to you LOTR fans, but it is really not my cup of tea. I am not naturally a fantasy person, so I am admittedly out of my element. However, I have the feeling that many of the characters do not have the depth that many claim. Themes such as loyalty seem to be a stretch to me. Perhaps Tolkien merely meant for the books to be sprinkled lightly with these themes and others have read too much into them over the years. I don't know. I do know that I will continue to try to watch these movies with an open mind and open eyes (as I fell asleep the first time I attempted to watch the movies) :)

Well it is time to retreat so I can shower- night!

I'm Back!

So it’s been awhile since I have blogged. I tried to start up a few times in grad school- but my masters took up my life, so it was near impossible. Now- for the first time in a long time, I have time to blog.

I really have missed it. It was great to write about spiritual matters and just growing up. I realize that writing helps me process a lot.

We found a new church I think. I love the way that they preach the word and how diverse it is. Time will tell, but I really like this church so far. I think we’re looking to join a small group too. Being in Maryville made me realize how as an extravert I need fellowship. We really have missed that. I feel like being with others really strengthens my relationship with Christ. I have been trying to increase the time I spend with God more too. Just talking with Him is amazing sometimes. It’s hard to put into words, but I just need more of Him.

We are pretty poor right now, but I am really thankful for this stage in life. It makes me focus on working out, writing, music and learning Spanish (all things that are free). It’s also nice because we know that we can make rent, pay our student loans and will always have food from family. Life is good!

Well, I will keep the first blog short and sweet. I am going to try to blog once a week (hopefully more :))