I know, I know. I have not blogged in forever. I have not had anytime to breath this semester. But the this is one of the first things I am doing on my Thanksgiving break.

I also got to paint. Got me thinking about the times senior year at Vanguard when the girls and I would paint. I loved those times. It can be such a neat time to connect with God too. I want to play my guitar tomorrow for the same reason.

I am reading I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. Really good.

I am so excited for Christmas! The season starts in 2 days. And my childhood dream is being fulfilled, going to NY at Christmas time. God has blessed us with so much.

22 days til so cal! cant wait :)

Since its been awhile

I get to go to So Cal in 4 more days. I am flying out for a work conference, but I am super excited because I will be able to see a bunch of my friends and loved ones. I have been a little lame and have been texting everyone about how excited I am. The only part that could be better is if my sweet husband came along. He is still trying to devise a plan to convince my employer that it is needed for husbands to come too :)

We went to Chicago last week and saw U2. It is an amazing city and the concert was beyond amazing. It was better than I could have ever imagined. It is difficult to describe, but I would encourage everyone to experience a U2 concert if they can. While there we went to the Art Institute. We saw many original works of art, including the American Gothic. It was really inspiring. I really loved the modern art section.

I am starting to work on my book again, but I am going a new direction. I am really excited!

My friends who know me know that I get along with most people. I am a person who strives to find the good in everyone; it’s rare when I don’t. It’s not something I push myself towards, it’s just a natural reaction....I don’t know why. So when I encounter people who it is difficult to find qualities that I deem as good, I get really frustrated. I have had this happen a few times and it truly saddens me. God and I have had a few conversations about loving people as he does. I DO NOT deserve to be loved by God. I have sin that I emulate daily. Yet he still loves me. I want that same kind of love as He has. He is granting it to me. Granted discernment is a gift from Him as well, so I will remember that. But Love does not hold grudges/keep records of wrong. Love is wise but loves above all. Grant me that amazing love for everyone I pray Lord!

It always seems that my update on my spiritual walk is the longest... Probably because God has so much to work on :)

It is really fun to be back in school. I am enjoying life so much! I think I have discovered the best thing about marriage.....pillow talk. The best thing on earth is talking and snuggling before you fall asleep each night. I am so thankful for this and for my amazing husband. I also love our little escapes from the job....even if it is as simple as getting a coke at the DQ (name that movie). Life is Wonderful.

Hello Again

I have had a few realizations lately:

1. I am happy with where I am at. Last year at this time I was in Oregon. I liked my church and I liked where I was living, but one of my jobs was stressful, I had no car and the days seemed to move slowly. I was so happy when my work flew me down to So Cal for a meeting, because it was a much needed break. I moved to Oregon in July and they flew me down in September. That seemed like a very long amount of time. Today, a year later, I just booked my flight for the same annual meeting. I am excited to fly out and see everyone, but I am not counting down the days. I think it is because I am happy with where I am at. I am married and with Jerry every day. We have our own amazing place. I am about to start school. I love both of my jobs. I have awesome friends. Life is great and I can’t believe were already half way through August.

2. I think I am destined to be a cartoonist wherever I go. I love it

3. I am dealing with major culture shock. Here are a few things about Missouri:
a. Everyone smokes out here. Teenagers do it out in the open too. It’s crazy
b. I overheard a girl in Chipotle ordering a quesadilla and pronounced it including the ll’s. The lunch lady at the caf called enchiladas “enchiladies”.
c. I have had debates with people whether or not Missouri is the Midwest or the South. I have figured out the answer. The north is the Midwest. St. Louis and below would be considered the South. I can say that after going to both. The cultural difference is astronomical. They call it “Missora” in the south.
d. Things seem segregated here. People of particular races hang out with their same race. I have just noticed this on campus, so I can’t over generalize for all of Missouri but it is quite obvious here.

4. A lot of people are big here. I know this is a direct link to how much people eat here, because eating is a huge part of culture out here. People will get like 3 plates of food. I have had to make it a personal goal to only get a small plate of food in the caf and to work out hard core every day. Luckily I have a wonderful husband and good friends working out with me. I have been learning tennis and I like it a lot.

5. I have grown so much in one year. I don’t say this to brag, but to show how good God is. A year ago I don’t know if I would have been brave enough to follow my heart since the ones I loved were against it. I no longer feel guilt about this; I no longer feel anxiety about this. I now feel I am where I am supposed to be. God is good.

6. Jer and I have been playing guitar together lately. We want to sing and play guitar at a local java joint. I also want to get back into doing art again.

7. Church is different out here. Hokey is the best way to describe it. But I have learned a lot from a different atmosphere. My pastor brought up a good point about the church. First he showed us that the Lord’s Prayer does not have first person pronouns, it is inclusive to everyone. Our Father, Give us. Were in this together, our relationship with the Lord is not only personal but is meant to be a community relationship. Our pastor also brought up the point that our patience is developed by those who frustrate us, mercy by those who need it from us. What better place to develop this than the church? J It made me laugh but it was a good point and it was a good reminder that though this church is different from what I am used to, it is a great place for me to be at this junction in my walk.

8. Last but not least. I am blessed. I have amazing friends all over the world. Jer is amazing. We have been doing devotionals together and praying together every night. It is so neat to do this as husband and wife. I love where I am at. God is so good.

I'm Married

Jer pointed out that I have not blogged in awhile....prob because we have been on the run so much. Married life is amazing. It has been so fun to be in So Cal...but I cant wait to settle in our apartment and paint and decorate.

My nails are long. I need to trim them. It is a little difficult to type.

I am also excited for Donna band practice.

My boss and I were supposed to have a lunch appointment with another co-worker on Thursday but he remembered that was the day he fasted. He fasts every Thursday. I thought that was really neat/convicting. I cant remember the last time I fasted....I want to do that.

Speaking of Godlythings....Kyo and Jer are trying to get me to watch Old Boy....dont know if I will.....

32 more days

But who is counting?

I suck at blogging as of recently. I have been super busy with things (which I guess seems about right a few weeks before my wedding). But I love reading my friends blogs and knowing what is going on in their lives. I guess I will just have to wait till I get back in a normal schedule to be at my blogging best (that could be August).

I love the song Christmas TV by Slow Club. Jerry introduced it to me. It reminds me a lot of us and makes me miss him so much it hurts. But with my masochist tendencies, I have been listening to it on repeat.

Packing all this week. Weird....it is here. I will be in So Cal on Saturday. I know God will continue to take care of me financially, but I am still stressed to be honest. I also hope I keep up a normal exercise routine when I am down there. I know it is going to be crazy, but I want to be in shape for the wedding, you know? The frickin pill.

I'm seriously so over being hurt and hurting for the ones I love. God please bring healing and reconciliation. I can't handle this anymore. I am tired of the way I ache. You know how much I can handle.

meh

I haven't posted anything in awhile. I am neurotic and love number points, so here is what has been on my mind:

1. I had my last day of work. That job really helped me develop as a whole person. I learned a lot, especially what hard work is. I had to wake up early and take the bus to and fro for most of it. I have a whole new respect for the average blue collar worker now. Though I am still working for Open Doors part time, I barely have any money now. I have been stressed about finances. I have credit card, rent and loans to pay and hate being in debt. Jerry is really good at having the whole faith thing. I suck at it. Even though God has come through every single time, I still doubt....even when I know it will all be good in a couple months. Why? Lord help me to have faith that moves mountains, for I know that you care for me. Forgive me for doubting.

2. I have a little over 2 weeks left up here in Oregon. I will also go to Indianapolis in that time...which is super sweet. I am going for a work conference. I have been looking up cool things to do there. I love traveling. After that, I will head back down to So Cal. I am really looking forward to the few weeks I have down there before the wedding. I will be staying with relatives and friends. I am really looking forward to being with my sister though. I have missed her a lot. I am really looking forward to our adventures of old....dollar ice cream at rite aid, dollar theatre, borders. I can’t wait!!!! Anywho, this year has been phenomenal. God has taught me so much....really feels like it was a time of preparation....

3. Which leads me to my next point. This has felt like a prep time. God has plugged me into an amazing church, has allowed me time to study his word and form a biblically based worldview on subjects that we deal with in today's society. I have felt a calling on my life since I was young, a calling to do great things for the Lord. I don’t know what it looks like....but I don’t want to miss it. He has done a lot to prepare me and I am ready for whatever it is. I have talked with Cor and Jer about this and have had this confirmed. What is it though God? I am ready (I think)

4. I am a broken person. I am continually hurt by some very close people in my life. Every time that I think the wound has been healed, it is ripped open, stabbed multiple times and left with gore all over the place. I hate that it happens to me....but I hate even more that it happens to my sister. I wish things could be reconciled. I wish that the love that was once present could return. I wish that I wasn't treated as an outcast, as a horrible person. I wish that we could be together again. I wish these things and God knows the desires of my heart. He can do anything. I trust and believe in Him. I praise him for the support He has blessed me with, with relatives and close friends. He is good.

5. Next year will be amazing. Marrying an amazing man of God, my best friend. I get to fall asleep in his arms every night. I get to snuggle up with him on our couch, in our apartment to watch a movie. I get to work at an AMAZING job with him next year. The Lord is an amazing provider and has blessed me so.

Person of the Week-Week 15

Brian Burhenn

He is a dear friend and a cynical one too :) I am very thankful for Brian. If there is one word for Brian it is loyal....loyal to his friends, country, marines and the Republican party :) (I hope he reads this) Heres to you Brian!

Person of the Week-Week 14

Jerry's Family

I know it is supposed to be "Person of the Week" but I had to do a shout out to Jer's fam. They are selfless people full of love and have been so accepting. They are wonderful examples of who Christ is. I am so blessed to be apart of this family in 66 days :) Here's to you Fuentes Family!!!

Sorry I miss a couple weeks. Things have been busy :)

Sorry I have been away for a bit

I was in So cal for Spring Break. Jer and I got our marriage licence, did some pre marital counceling with Bill, had some meetings with Open Doors and got to see family and friends. It was a nice and much needed break :)

I was officially offered the G.A. position at North West State Missouri University. I get to work in res life and activities planning, while getting free housing, food and school. And its only part time, so I get to keep working for Open Doors part time too :)

God is good. He continues to do amazing things for us. I am so undeserving.

Person of the Week- Week 13

Katie Froberg

This week's person of the week goes to my dear roommate Katie. Katie is always faithful to put others before herself (offering rides, venting sessions etc). She is the life of the party and always makes me laugh. You can bet that you will be entertained for hours when you are around her. She has a heart for helping the voiceless and is so passionate. Here's to you Katie Froberg!!!

Dang

So...

• God has done a mighty work with my relatives. I have all of their support! Amazing. I still cant believe it. I now have faith He can complete this good work because...

• This morning in church Pastor Jess was praying and he said that God wanted to heal us of physical, emotional and relational pain. My mind went to my back (which has felt like I have had a pinched nerve for the past week) and to my family. I then kind of dismissed my back thing and kept praying. Then Pastor Jess said....God wants to heal someone's back....the moment he said that I felt immediate relief. I thought that word would have been for someone else, not me....my pain seemed insignificant. I leaned over to Corri, Carrie and Amos and told them. They told me to tell Pastor Jess that after the sermon...I did and he thanked me and told me he loved hearing that because it gave him courage to speak up when God gives him something again (I love how vulnerable he is). When God healed my back he brought to mind right away what my grandpa had said "My God healed my eyes...he can heal anything, especially relationships". I felt God healing my back today, though my pain seemed insignificant was a reminder that He can do anything and cares about all my worries. I have complete faith great things are still to come before June 12th

• I judge people. Its really bad.....I like to call it realism or discernment....but its really judging. There is this guy who leads worship who can be kind of showy and I get annoyed. God put it on my heart that this person's sin might be more outward than mine, but that I am just as guilty....with my inward sin that may not be apparent to the whole world. It was a kick in the butt...realizing I was having a horrible heart while pretending to worship my God.....so now I need to work on this.

• Went to St. Paddy's Day festival in the City....amazing!!! Had a Guinness and bangers sandwich, saw Irish dancers and a few Irish bands. So fun!!

• My best friend threw Corri and I a bridal shower.....so much fun!!!! We went to this classy fondue place and played fun games and got gifts. Most of you know that I love embarrassing people, especially when it comes to honeymoon things.....the thing is I can dish it but I cant take it. I was turning bright red as I was opening up lingerie gifts.....so embarrassing. Fun nonetheless :)
  

Person of the Week- Week 12

Corri Vaughan

Most of you know and love Corri. Corri is one of the most loyal friends I know. I have lost count of how many times she lets me vents and walks through things with me. She is fun, faithful and super good at jeopardy too. Here's to you Corri!!!

God is at work in a mighty way...let me tell you. He has been making some situations I foresaw as impossible, not only possible but blessed. This trial is not quite over yet, but it is amazing how much He has done in the past few days. Praying He will continue to do His perfect work

I would like to take this moment to apologize for my use of the term "grow a pair" in the last post. That is a gross expression....I often find myself using terms that I really don’t think of the blatant connotation (i.e. bitchin). I am trying to eliminate that out of my speech. James 3, right?

It’s a hectic day today....I am so excited for spring break!!! It isn’t really going to be a restful one per say, but it will be nice to have a break from at least one of my jobs. Jerry and I get to get our marriage license, see relatives and friends, get haircuts, he will see the price is right and I will get to go to Open Doors. It should be a really good one. 3 months and 2 days :)

By the end of this month I will know if I got the Graduate Assistant job I applied for and if I got into Grad school.....waiting on pins and needles :)

Praise Him

So I was making myself sick with anxiety about a conversation I was going to have today. I finally grew a pair and did it. God not only made the conversation better than I could have ever imagined, he has granted me amazing peace. Why do I doubt still?

Person of the Week- Week 11

Carrie Yarbrough

She is the one in the middle. :) Carrie and I were RA's together at VU and now she is one of my wonderful roommates. She has a servants heart and really blesses others. She is a photographer on the side and puts all the money she makes doing that into her non profit to help kids in Africa. Likewise she blesses her friends (she is photographing my wedding for free). She also has an awesome work ethic, as a teacher she goes above and beyond to care for her kids. Here's to you Carrie Yarbrough!

I got to see Jer this weekend. I can’t wait to be married :) Nobody on earth makes me laugh like he does. We just have so much fun together. We made dinner and watched the Simpsons and played rockband with friends, did wedding stuff and devotionals and watched some awesome old school videos on hulu. Whenever I go there I usually stay at either his friend Amea's or Lisa's. We were commenting on how our actions really speak out to others....everyone was shocked that we didn’t just stay together. It was a good reminder that actions are louder than words and that we are not only staying pure to honor God, but it is an awesome witness.......i think I can do 3 1/2 more months :)

Person of the Week-Week 10

Ange St. Hilare

She is pretty much amazing. If you subscribe to her blog, you will just get a glimpse as to why. Ange was a co-worker of mine and always made going to work rather enjoyable, because I knew we would either be having an intellectual theological or political discussion, play an awesome prank or just laugh a ton. Ange has a wonderful heart and is a great example of caring for those in need. She is dedicating almost a year of her life to spreading knowledge about the AIDS epidemic and I know she is already influencing many. Here's to you Ange!!!

Frambly

Last night Corri was about to call Kyo on Skype and right as she was connecting, Mo and Jason called. I heard their voices and ran over to Corri's bed. It was so wonderful to chat with them. Corri then got the idea to conference in Kyo. The four of us were chatting and then Michelle came on and we added her. Then I told Jerry to sign on and all 7 of us were chatting. It was a mini frambly reunion. I hadn't laughed that hard in awhile. I love these friends more than words can describe and cant even begin to describe how much I miss them. I mean my sides were aching from laughing so much (haven’t had that happen in awhile) but realized that was a daily occurrence with that crew. Its amazing to have friends who appreciate you for who you are and love the dorky things about you (and I feel the same way about them). I love the guys who have entered as significant others too....they blend right in. I am so blessed :)

I think I have mentioned Curtis before, my bus driver. He is a very outspoken Christian (which I love). He told me today that he is shocked he hasn't been called into the office yet for his Christianity....being that he talks about it all the time. He told me he doesn't think it is good to force it upon people, but thinks its just as bad if we go our day without talking about our faith. I told him that I thought the joy that people saw from his life wasn’t forceful, rather they would associate that joy with Jesus and a seed would be planted. He gave a church card to a gal on the bus and yesterday we had a devotion with our friend Diana. The bus schedule is going to change soon which I am bummed about. One more week with Curtis. I think I have learned a lot this year, this is just one of the things I have learned.

I had coffee with a gal from my small group last night and kind of filled her in with my family situation and the wedding. I realized that I was no longer feeling guilty about things....God has really helped me overcome some false anxieties. She was very encouraging and brought up some very good points. I am thankful for the new work God continues to do in me and pray that I can please Him in all that I do....taking each of these lessons to heart.

Person of the Week-Week 9

Rachel Stewert

So those of you who know her, know she is pretty darn awesome. She has an amazing heart for God and others. She is a great example of God's love and equates that love to the office as well (which gets you 100 cool points in my book). I am thankful for the way that she cares about me and others. Here's to you Rachel!!!

This is sweet

So here is an awesome passage. We read the word together as a church, and this is today’s passage. It is a good reminder for me with what I am going through in my walk right now. To love the Lord with all that I am, He has done all this for me:

Psalm 103 (New Living Translation)
Psalm 103
A psalm of David.
1 Let all that I am praise the Lord; with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name. 2 Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me. 3 He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. 4 He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies. 5 He fills my life with good things. My youth is renewed like the eagle’s!
6 The Lord gives righteousness and justice to all who are treated unfairly.
7 He revealed his character to Moses and his deeds to the people of Israel. 8 The Lord is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. 9 He will not constantly accuse us, nor remain angry forever. 10 He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve. 11 For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. 12 He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. 13 The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. 14 For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust. 15 Our days on earth are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die. 16 The wind blows, and we are gone— as though we had never been here. 17 But the love of the Lord remains forever with those who fear him. His salvation extends to the children’s children 18 of those who are faithful to his covenant, of those who obey his commandments!
19 The Lord has made the heavens his throne; from there he rules over everything.
20 Praise the Lord, you angels, you mighty ones who carry out his plans, listening for each of his commands. 21 Yes, praise the Lord, you armies of angels who serve him and do his will! 22 Praise the Lord, everything he has created, everything in all his kingdom.
Let all that I am praise the Lord.

Person of the Week-Week 8

Heidi Giacomantonio

I love her. She is always so encouraging and always has the most heartfelt things to say. She is truly a woman after God's own heart. She cares deeply for her friends as well as the rest of the world. She puts others before herself and is one of the best examples of Christ I know. Heres to you Heidi.

A New Name

The Presidents having trouble getting people on board. He just needs a cool name like FDR did... The New Deal. My thoughts:

Barack's Bitchin' plan

I'll Save You!!!!

or

Super Deal

Luke 10:27

And he answered, "YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND; AND YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF."

I was recently reminded of this time in jr. high when my mom and I had just had an argument. It was right before one of my band recital and she was upset with me. She told me we would talk about it later, after the recital. Well it was the final part of the recital and we were about to start. I noticed that this kid I knew in a wheelchair needed assistance, so I helped him...hoping my mom would see. Now mind you that I probably would have helped anyways, but my main purpose was so that my mom could see what a compassionate person I was and not stay mad at me. It worked. We got home and she told me that she saw what I had done. "What?" I said, playing dumb. "Putting someone before yourself. You got a late start on that last song because you were helping someone else." We hugged and I didn’t have to worry about anymore arguments for that night.

I look back at that story with shame. It’s what psychologist call the "Good Girl/Good Boy syndrome"....kids doing good to get praise, not because they want to be good. I feel like that often occurs in my life. I sometimes do things because I think they will look good to God, not because I have a desire to be good.

So this verse.....I heard a sermon about this once. The emphasis was on the mind part. Striving to grow in an intellectual relationship with Him. I really liked that and it helped me to grow a lot. Now I sometimes feel like it’s too much of my mind. I feel like I am able to conceptualize aspects of God intellectually, but my heart behind it is not equal. I was doing things like in jr high again....in my mind I knew it was the right thing to do, but I was doing it for selfish reason, not from my heart.

God I want a renewed love of you. Not just mind, but with ALL my soul ,heart, strength and mind. Put a desire in me so strong to feel your presences in every aspect of my life. Forgive when I do things out of selfish ambition. Let everything be purely for you.

Person of the Week- Week 7

Katie Barrett

This week's person of the week is dedicated to my sister. She is one of the funniest people I know. She always seems to know what I am feeling and is one of the only people who knows what I am thinking. She has a huge heart for her friends and is empathetic towards those who are hurting. She is there to let me vent whenever I need to. I love my sister more than words can describe. Heres to you Katie Barrett!!!

I am deathly ill right now. I spewed this morning....can't even hold down water. I have this horrible cough too; I believe the medical definition is "The Black Lung". But alas I am at work :)
This morning on the bus, Curtis (my bus driver) and Diana (my bff at the bus stop) were the only ones on the bus. They saw I was sick and Curtis recommended that they pray for healing for me :) So we did. It was so sweet.

On the plane home last night I was really sick and was sitting between a nice gay couple. They were making references to that twilight zone where the gremlin was on the wing and offering me tissues.

I miss Jerry more than words can describe. I am heartsick for him. I know its only 4 more months, but I don’t know if I can do it.

Economic Plan

Here is a good article about Obama's plan that passed in the House (with no Republican support) and is on it's way to Senate. I agree that there are a few unneeded portions in this package, but being the math nerd that I am, I added up the one's that I couldn't see directly stimulating the economy and it came to 7 billion. 7 billion is a lot, don’t get me wrong. But 7 billion out of 900 billion isn’t the worst idea in the world. My take? I wish Obama would trim things out like global warming research (which is a good thing, when we have money for it), and maybe even cut back on things that will directly stimulate the economy, so we don’t have 900 billion to add to our debt. I guess the national debt was this bad before once. It wasn't even during the Depression...it was post WWII. So that makes me feel better. Let’s pray that this does something good for our economy and that the President, House and Senate would refrain from unnecessary spending until we can afford it.

Liar (liar) if were keeping score

Yeah, I hate that band, but the lyrics seemed an appropriate title for this post. Upon reading the Portland Tribune this morning, I found myself a little upset. For those of you who don’t live in Portland, our mayor was found to have lied about his sexual relationship with a younger male. Originally he claimed there were no relations, now he is claiming that they did have sex, but it was after the boy was 18. Technically nothing (by the information we now have) is illegal about this, but the mayor did lie. This article was basically saying that everyone lies, doctors, lawyers, politicians....so we shouldn't be too hard on this guy. I don't know what kind of society we now live in where we are OK with people lying to us, that we merely accept it. I mean I am not going to be the first to cast a stone here, I am guilty of lying too; but it shouldn’t just be excused. There is a difference between forgiveness & repentance and just excusing someone. Arghhhhhh!!!!

Bible Study kind of kicked my butt last night (in a really good way). I have been making myself physically sick with anxiety about a few personal relationship issues. Friends always quote the "be anxious about nothing" verse, but I feel like it is over used. Well last night that verse was put into a whole new light for me. We learned about the 2 aspects of Faith: faithfulness and trust. We learned that the opposite of trust isn't untrust, but rather anxiety: we are not only not trusting God, but essentially replacing Him with fear. And God has not given us a spirit of fear but a spirit of power, of love and a sound mind. His Power will give me strength to have a difficult conversation. His love will help me do so in a way honoring to Him. The sound mind that he offers helps me from being neurotic. I feel a lot more equipped. Please pray with me that I encompass all of these things, especially tonight and the weeks to come.

Person of the Week- Week 6

Lindsay (and Zac) Bascom

As many of you know, Lindsay has been my best friend since I was 6 years old. She and her husband Zac have been married for about 7 months. They are people of great faith. No matter what kinds of curveballs are thrown at them, they trust in God. They are dedicated to finding ways to grow more in Him and sacrifice a lot to do so. They are wonderful friends and I am so thankful for who they are in my life. Here's to you Linds and Zac!!!

4 steps

5 steps forward, 1 step back. Bummed Obama reinstated the abortion funding, but what can you do? From how I look at it were still 4 steps ahead. In a perfect world I would have expected 5 steps forward, but that perfect world won’t be here until our President is Jesus :)

After reading Briana's post, I realized how much I talk about politics....that and theology. I think I work out all of my ideals on this blog....perhaps that’s why I love blogging so much. I like to have my friends see me work things out and have them there to comment in case they have something to say. It’s really comforting

So I am randomly going to Seattle tomorrow. I get to see my dear friend Ange. I am so excited to catch up. Ange used to work at Open Doors with me and now she works for World Vision. I never realized how close you can get to your co workers until working there. I guess you are spending a 1/3 of your life with them.

Its going to be a really lazy Saturday today. I haven't had one of those in awhile. I plan on staying in my P.J.’s while do chores, doing things on my to-do list and wedding planning. I got Evita in the mail from Netflix so maybe I can convince my roommates to watch that with me :)

Clean Up

I know it's only Day #2, but I am beyond ecstatic with Obama's clean up. Adios Gitmo, hello fair relations between Palestine and Israel (even though Hamas is still pissed...can’t please everyone I suppose) and a stern message to terrorists ("for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you."). My President is fulfilling his major promises on his second day.....I honestly didn't think it would happen. I am in a state of amazement to be honest. Still have to wait to see what his actions will be with Iraq, the economy, healthcare and education in this country, but let’s just say on Day #2 I am already pleasantly surprised by the results. Yeah!!!!

Person of the Week- Week 5

Barack Hussein Obama

I know this is a bit cliché, but it had to be done. History was made today. A man who, 150 years ago would have been a slave, 50 years ago wouldn’t have been allowed to drink out of the same water fountain as me is now the 44th President of the United States. I admire his hope and pray that his ideals put into action will help turn this country around. He has overcome many obstacles and offers an exciting outlook on the years to come. Heres to you Barack Obama!

Last night I was thinking about what now former President Bush must have been dwelling on last night. 8 years on a job and then it is done. I saw a movie about Truman with the actor who played Lutenit Dan in Forest Gump. Anywho historically Truman and Bush have equally low approval ratings leaving office. The movie portrayed how silent life was for him post Presidency...after such an overwhelming term. I wonder if the same thoughts portrayed of Truman will be going through former President Bush's head.

This weekend I had the opportunity to road trip down to So Cal with Brian and Corri for Coop's wedding. It was epic....we thought that the trip would make our weekend super short, but it was actually seemingly lengthened. Coop's wedding was wonderful and I had a great time seeing friends and family. It was a great time.

I get to see Jerry in 11 days and get to marry him in 144 days. I am the most blessed girl on earth!!!!!

His Kingdom

The streets of my once busy city,
Are empty and bare,
There is no one in the restaurants,
Shops, Movies, anywhere

Where employees once stood,
There is no one to be found,
A once thriving business,
Has plummeted to the ground

Why am I so fortunate?
To have kept my vocation,
To have enough to eat,
A warm house, enough for our wedding and vacation?

The economy has been getting more and more real to me and makes me crave a perfect heaven compared to this imperfect earth. I was thinking about that time a few years back at the Lazy W for leadership retreat. It was a night of worship with the Holy Spirit's presences so tangibly there....words can’t even describe how amazing it was. We worshipped for hours and it still didn’t feel long enough. We used the gifts of the Spirit, spoke into each others lives. It was amazing. A little taste of what heaven is going to be like. I cannot wait for that Kingdom. But until then, I pray the Lord uses me here on earth, so more can be part of this awesome experience. Open my mind and heart to the ways You want to use me Lord! Please use this imperfect servant in mighty ways, as only you can. Refine me I pray!

Person of the Week- Week Four

Jay Ditto

Having a crappy day? Having a good day? This guy will always be there to say something to make your day a lot brighter. He is one of the most encouraging people I know. Everything he says is heartfelt and he genuinely cares about his friends. I appreciate the way that he takes time to read others blogs etc, to know what they are going through at that exact moment in life. He is one of the best examples of Christ I know. Heres to you Jay Ditto!!!

Do Everything as Unto the Lord

I know that work has been struggling financially for awhile....I mean when you are a Christian Non Profit reliant solely on donations; you are going to be affected majorly by a bad economy. I knew that we were doing some major cut backs and had a feeling the job cuts were next. Today it became a reality. 7 of my co workers were laid off, 1/5 of our office. I think our whole office feels it more than most would because we are truly like a family. I thought that I would certainly be among them, since part of my job title includes the word "assistant", but God spared my job.

From what it sounds like, my boss cut back in some major areas to keep my job. I am so thankful and feel so undeserving. I am so thankful to have a job, yet I feel guilty in a sense...7 of my dear friends are jobless. I empathetically ache for them.

We were told that these would be the only cutbacks in the foreseeable future. I pray that is the case. This has been a big wake up call for me in a few ways. I have decided that I am not spending anything more until I am at a surplus with my savings. I will be debt free (minus student loans) by April because I do not want to have that in case anything else was to happen.
I also am going to do all that I can to improve upon my work ethic. It isn't that I have a poor one; I actually think I have a good one. But I want to have the best work ethic.

This morning as I was walking to work God put that verse "Do everything as Unto the Lord" in my head. I prayed and told Him I would strive to do that in work today. It is amazing how He prepares our hearts.

In happier news, I found out that as soon as I get accepted in Grad School, Jerry's boss will speed up the hiring process so he can hire me in res life. I am so excited. It is part time so I can still work for Open Doors, but I will also be working in my dream job :) I will be going to school full time as well. I am really excited!!!

Greek nor Jew

With the Gaza situation worsening, I find myself getting more and more pissed at American Christians who blindly take the side of Israel because they are God's chosen people. Just because they are God's chosen people, doesn’t mean that the government is pleasing God or doing the right thing....look at the Old Testament and you will find numerous stories of the people of Israel doing things that displeased God. Now I am not taking a side here, merely pointing out that both sides have things that they are right and wrong about.

Spiritually we need to acknowledge that Colossians 3 states that there is Greek nor Jew in the Kingdom of God. He loves us all equally...we are all his people. When people hate Palestinians they are being racist in the name of Zionism. Stereotyping Palestinians in this way is not only dangerous but morally wrong.

Politically we need to understand feelings on both sides. Yes the land of Israel has been the Jew's for thousands of years. But in recent time, Palestinians have inhabited it. Since 1948 they have experienced Eminent Domain in the harshest sense....the land that was theirs for years has dwindled down to the Gaza strip and a small piece of land called Palestine. Compare it to what the White man did to Native Americans. It was their land first...we took over. The land was their’s...but it would suck for everyone in America if we were forced off of the land we had known all our lives by Native Americans....wouldn’t it?

Anywho...I don’t have the answers...this wont be solved until Christ’s return. But I can say that God loves all his Creation, on both sides. Since he has this kind of love, it is wrong of us to pick sides.

Person of the Week-Week 3

Jerry Fuentes

I know that I am a week behind, but this is better late than never, right? I have elected my wonderful soon to be husband as person of the week for many reasons. He is such a servant (driving me, my sister, my friends all over so cal the past 2 weeks), has an amazing heart (the ability to honor God by forgiving and love everyone) and he has the ability to make me laugh beyond control. He is my best friend and I am so thankful that he will be my husband in 5 months.
Sorry I haven't been commenting on anyone’s blogs lately. I have been in so cal for the past two weeks and rarely went online. I had a wonderful time. It was sunny (just what I needed) and I got to see almost everyone.
I flew in on the 22nd and got chick fila with the fam. The next day, I went shopping at the Mission Viejo mall with Serena and Katie (like old times). We met up with the boys at CPK later that night. I spent Christmas Eve and Christmas with the fam. They all seemed to like their gifts. The day after Christmas I got coffee with Briana and she gave me lots of good wedding advice. I then hung out with Skylar and Katie. We spent the night at Kristin Lattorelle’s (so much fun). The next day was Jerry’s sisters wedding....so much fun. The following day I went to church with my family, played monopoly and went to the beach for a bonfire with them. The day after that I took my GRE....scored a 980. Its more than enough to get me into both schools I am applying to, so that is great. Jer and I met up and got Claim Jumper for his bday. I then went to my grandpa’s to spend the night. We watched the Sound of Music. The next morning I walked to the bus and missed it by 30 seconds. Normally I would have been a little annoyed, but it was ok because I was right at the beach and hung out for 30 mins. I had never realized that the bus from Vanguard went right to the beach. That would have saved me a lot of parking hassle the past 4 years. I rode the bus straight up to Open Doors and worked the day there. It was wonderful to see everyone. That night a few of us from my old youth group got together at the harbor house. New Years Eve day I hung out with the fam and that night I went to Kaytie Clary’s party, then Jerry's old friends, then Kyo and Corris and then to Michelle’s to spend the night. The next day we hung out with Skylar and Katie and then I watched the Twilight Zone with my family. The next day Jerry and I did premarital counseling with Bill. It was one of the best experiences for me. I learned a lot and gained a better biblical understanding about certain situations in my life. We then met up with Kaytie Clary and Roxy and drove out to Jerrys old church. We look over the church and dance hall and are very excited :) We are able to do all of this for pretty cheap too :) We had dinner with Dez for her birthday and then went to Melissa and Grace's. The following day was our 3 year anniversary. Jerry and i bought our wedding rings and then he took me to The Melting Pot and then we saw Yes Man (I thought it was great). The next day Katie and I took the train to see my grandmas in Burbank. Skylar picked us up after and we went to Hollywood and Ameboa. We then met Jer at Skosh's and then hung out with Corri and Kyo. My last day I spent with my family playing monopoly and cards. It was a great time off. :)